Just catching up

So most of you know that I have a cast on my leg which I have had for a couple of weeks now. The cast if from tendinitis on the outside of my foot. Yesterday I went to go have it taken off and it was some seriously sweet relief...albeit short lived. It seemed that as soon as they took it off they slapped another right back on. Why, you ask? Well, the doctor tells me it still isn't fully healed so we need to keep it in a cast (a new one) for another two weeks and then all should be well. I was moving my foot around and thinking I must be in heaven. I think we take advantage of our moving parts, and then when we can't move them normally for a while we forget how great it feels! I was hoping I wouldn't have to have the cast on again, but I want to do what is best for my foot and I am honestly trying to take the best care of it that I can. One of my goals this year was to get healthy. Not saying that I wasn't healthy before, but I wasn't where I wanted to be and I wasn't comfortable in my own skin any longer. I had no idea my path to being healthy would turn out like this, but I know things will get better. It is quite cumbersome to have to hobble around in this thing, but I know it's short lived. I can manage I suppose. Although I am thinking I might let James draw a cool picture on it or something. Maybe I will let the ladies at work (and apparently the ladies at church now too) whip out their sharpies and leave me little messages of love...or hate. Whichever. Hmm, I'll have to ponder over that a little more. On a side note today was the first day since I got the cast on that I was able to use the "handicap" stall in the restroom. I know, a little more information than any one of you would have preferred to know, but I just think it's funny considering the stall was always open before and I never had any issues with it! I'm just sayin! ;) I get to have the cast taken off in two weeks, which is the same day I go for all my pre-op stuff. As my friend Gina would say "BOO!!". I agree!

A String of Bad Luck?

I had someone tell me the other day that I was having a string of bad luck. First it was my thyroid cancer, then it was the tendonitis in my leg which has resulted in an honest-to-goodness real fiberglass cast for two weeks, then it was having an entire route 44 cherry limeade (a big drink for those of you who have never had one from Sonic before)spill all down the drivers side of the car, and finally it was my car door lock busting to where I can't lock or unlock the door from the outside on the passenger side of my car. I don't know if it really is bad luck. I don't feel like I am having a tough time or like everything is piling up on me. I just feel like it is what it is. Would it be nice to be able to bend my ankle and walk normally like everyone else? Absolutely! But I can't do that right now so why be all down in the dumps about it? I am getting by. I have had tremendous help and support not only from my husband and family, but also from my amazing coworkers who truly make me feel so good about myself and willingly help me with even the simplest of tasks. I just love those ladies! Anyway, I'll try to take some pictures of the cast so you can all laugh right along with me on the craziness that is my life recently. :) I'll post them when I can.

It's scheduled

Hello my friends! Alright, let's just get right down to it, shall we? The surgery is scheduled for April 14th. Both James and I feel good about the surgeon, the date, and the whole process. Ok, so that's that.

Right now I am listening to Bonnie Raitt sing "Have a Heart". I just love the bluesy, soulful sound of this song! One of my most favorite parts is at the very beginning where she says "Hey! Shut up!" It cracks me up every time. It's a good song that everyone should listen to. Just close your eyes and feel the music. Let it work its way up through your heart and mind. My head isn't hurting, my asthma is playing nice today, and my mind is at peace so of course I've got the music up loud and I am singing at the top of my lungs. Today it is Bonnie Raitt. She's good; she has a lot of feeling in her songs. I like days like this. Days where I can feel relaxed, comfortable, and appreciate of the music others have made. 

I was told that the surgery has a risk of damaging the muscles and nerves in my throat around my vocal chords. This could result in a hoarse voice for the rest of my life. As a definite supporter of talking (most of you know that I can take my fair share, and then some, of any conversation...including those I have with myself! This girl can talk!) this can be a little concerning. However, as an avid singer (and most of you know how much I love to sing!) this causes some anxiety for me. I asked if it happened to me would I be able to sing again. The surgeon said that most people notice their pitch is off. I think my eyes bulged out of my head, my mouth dropped open, and I said (probably a little too loudly) "You mean I'm going to be off key?!?!" James just smiled. I can live with not being able to talk again for the rest of my life, but not being able to sing? Well, that's just out of the question! He did say there was a 75% recovery rate with practice and the such. At least that's something. I just don't know what it would be like to not be able to sing. That is a very big part of my life. Sometimes I think that is the one thing I am good at; that's my one talent. I don't want to lose it, because then what else would I be good at? I guess I could always brag about my Excel skills (CONCATENATE!! again, dk, for you), or talk up my mad merging skills at Word. But somehow it's just not the same. I can picture myself at some party where I'm introduced to someone new: "Crystal, let me introduce you to the group. This is Bob, he's a real estate guru. This here's Carol. She's a fashion diva. And over here we have Leslie. She's an artist. Everyone, this is Crystal. She can mail merge."

Nice.

Anyway, I'll more than likely be doing a lot more singing, humming, and whistling here over the next six to eight weeks. Consider yourself warned. Yes, I will take requests (for both songs you want to hear, and those you don't). No, I don't do rap. And yes, feel free to introduce me to some of your favorite songs/groups/people. I am always interested in expanding my music library - both in my mp3 player and in my mind. :) Thanks!

My Recent Troubles

I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind.

Some come from ahead and some come from behind.

But I’ve bought a big bat. I’m all ready you see.

Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!

~Dr. Seuss

I stumbled upon this poem recently and thought it was completely appropriate to my current situation. Sure, things have been a little crazy what with the whole "you've got cancer" thing (see previous post for additional information), but I'm doing well and I still remain positive about everything. I have a surgical consultation scheduled for the 18th with the surgeon, and then right after that I have an appointment with my PCP, so I imagine I am going to be on information overload that day. It's a good thing James will be coming with me. It will certainly help me feel better and it's always good to have a second set of ears for things I will surely miss. We have been making a list of questions that we want to ask them (How long will the surgery be? Will I need to take radioactive iodine to kill off any other cancer lingering around? How long will the recovery period be? What are the chances of this coming back?) and we will hopefully get all the answers we need to satisfy us and put our minds at ease then. I feel much better now about all of this then I did on Saturday or even Monday of this week. I have been in touch with so many people who have (had?) thyroid cancer before, and I have been extremely blessed to have so many friends and family members expressing concern on my behalf. It's been an interesting journey so far...and it's only been one week!! Thanks to everyone for all your support and thoughts, prayers and advise, and your conversations. It has helped more than you know. More updates on my thyroid cancer will be posted after my appointment on the 18th, but I'll post other things on here in the mean time, so don't forget to come back and read all the fabulous happenings of my life! C-ya!

Cancer

Cancer. The word bounces off of me, like my body is a shield and it refuses to let that word in to have any meaning or place in which to root. Even thinking about the word conjures images of lengthy treatments, sick people, loss of hair, and hopeful eyes of those affected by it. So, why am I thinking about it, then? Well, because as of last night I was told that I have thyroid cancer. But good news!! It's one of the most curable types of cancer, and my doctor says "If you had to pick a cancer this is the one to pick!". Hee hee hee. That part still cracks me up. He's a good man, my doctor. Some of you may be wondering how all this happened. Well, my friends, let me tell you.

A long time ago, in a land far, far away there was a beautiful princess who was plagued with a terrible curse. Alright, I'm just joking. I'll be serious here. :) Back in September I had a terribly awful pain in my right ear that, over the course of a few days, progressed down into my jaw and into my throat. I went to my PCP who ran tests, but couldn't find anything. She told me there was one more test she wanted done, but it was only performed in the emergency room. I went there to have a test to see if I had something called a vertebral artery dissection. They gave me some iodine and performed a CT scan of my head and neck. When it came back, the ER doctor said the test was normal. He said he couldn't find anything wrong, and aside from a small nodule in my thyroid (which I could disregard, he said) everything was fine. I thought nothing of it and went on my way. A couple of months later I had some blood tests done that showed my Thyroid Stimulating Hormone (TSH) levels were elevated. I asked what would cause that to happen and the doctor told me a few things, one of which was a nodule. That caught my attention! I remembered the test I had done a few months earlier that found a nodule on my thyroid. 

I gathered all the test results and took them to my doctor to review. From there, my doctor wanted to do an ultrasound on my thyroid to get a better look at what the nodules looked like before doing anything else. I had the ultrasound done on January 10th and was told the results would be in to my doctor in a few days. First thing Monday morning I got a call back from my PCP who said she wanted me to see an endocrinologist because I had several nodules she thought they should check out. I called the endocrinologist and got in to see him on January 24th. It was a great appointment because I was the only patient and I felt like I was getting the royal treatment. The doctor talked to me and told me he was 99% sure that I had Hashimoto's thyroiditis. This is the most common thyroid issue. He told me I would more than likely be on thyroid medicine to regulate the hormones and everything should be fine. Then he said he wanted to look at the nodules, so he had an ultrasound machine there in the office that he used to get a better look at them. He said there was one on the right side of my thyroid and two on the left side that he said he wanted to get biopsy's of since they were all larger than 1cm (and one was over 2cm). He told me it was standard procedure and the chance of them coming back as cancerous was "zero percent". I was confident that they would come back as normal, so I didn't think anything of it. By the way, the biopsy's were taken without anesthesia where they stuck a needle in my thyroid (through my neck) to get a sample of tissue from each nodule. Yeah, it stung a little while they were doing it, but afterward it hurt bad.

Well, the doctor said the results would be back in three days, and that he was going to refer me back over to my PCP to put me on medicine and there was no need to set up any other follow-up visits. I shook his hand and went on my way. Last night, on my way home from work, I got a call from him. Here's how part of the conversation went:

Dr. - "Well, we got your test results back."

me - "Well, that's good."

Dr. - "Well, it's not what I thought it would be."

me - "Well, that's not good."

Dr. - "The samples came back and they were cancerous."

me - "Ok."

Dr. - "You have thyroid cancer. But don't hit the panic button! If you had to pick a cancer, this is the one to pick. It is curable."

Then he gave me information about what happens next. Yes, thyroid cancer has a high success rate. Basically what happens now is they remove my thyroid, but I don't know when that surgery will take place. I should be hearing back from the surgeon within the next few days and we'll go from there. The doctor said, "This really is a blessing in disguise because if you wouldn't have had that CT scan done on your neck a few months ago, there's really no telling when this would have be found." So, I do thank the Lord for severe ear pain which was totally unrelated to this whole "debacle" (dk, the use of that word was just for you!)

Well, this post has turned out to be quite lengthy, and some of you may think that this truly is nothing to worry about, but this is a good outlet for me to get all the thoughts out of my head. As a friend of mine once told me, I tend to stew over things a lot, so writing them down helps to get it out of my mind and helps me to focus on the big picture. Am I nervous that I have been told I have a type of cancer? Absolutely! But I am super positive and quite sure that I will be ok and things will be fine. I'll keep you all posted. Have a good night!

A Post For the Ladies

Alright girls! It's time for me to say something. I hate clothes shopping!! And can you blame me? Clothes shopping is a nightmare! You take a look at your closet one day and think "When did I start wearing the same four shirts?" and you realize it's time to go shopping. At first you are excited about it, hopeful even, for the great sales, the new looks, and the super cute clothes. But then, as you go from store to store, you realize it's not so fun after all. And for those of you who decide to do your shopping online, the choices seem almost overwhelming. But sooner or later you notice that every style looks the same and the second you find something that is half-way decent, low and behold they don't have it in your size. You end up walking away from the computer, or out of the dressing rooms feeling discouraged, depressed, and headed straight for the nearest ice cream shop, "Low fat frozen yogurt please. Plain. Small. Thank you."

Not only is it difficult to find the cute styles and sizes that would look most flattering on you, the sneaky clothes designers always try to throw a "new style" in the mix to throw you off. When you come across these finds you have to stop and take in the horrendous piece of material that you have just come across. The shock factor is high and we honestly get dizzy from shaking our heads in disbelief. Now, I think trying to shop for larger sized clothing is freakin' ridiculous. I am always embarrassed for large ladies who decide that the following articles of "clothing" are amazing, hip, and a must have for their wardrobes. Bear with me ladies. It's about to get ugly:

These pretty little things are a rare find indeed, yet the site listed them as "in stock". Yes, ladies, these leggings are a bold color choice of metallic silver. Not only will they hug every curve, bump, and abnormality on your legs, but you can also wear these to work! Pair them with a shiny black tunic and some low heels for the perfect day look.

When I was in Alaska on my honeymoon, James and I had the joy and pleasure of seeing the Portage glacier and it looked just like this shirt. You too can look like a glacier from Alaska in this treasure. I understand the idea behind it...but why? WHY?

This last gem apparently comes from the same line of clothes the other two came from. Maybe it's the metallic theme that is throwing me off, but whoever designed this should be kicked out of the fashion industry all together! The thing you have to keep in mind is that this lovely vest/shrug/shirt is specifically designed for larger women. Who, in their right mind, would wear something like this out in public?

It astounds me that women will purchase these pieces of clothing and think everything is fine and all is well. But I assure you this is not the case!! No self-respecting woman would degrade herself in such a manner!!

Ladies, let's take back the clothing stores! Throw back the horrid garments they are insisting are today's hottest trends, and dress in a manner that shows both confidence and good taste!! Do I hear the word "REVOLUTION"?!?!?  

"Your Rankings Have Been Changed"

Yesterday was a tough day for me, and I didn't get home until late...which is when I typed up my other post. Anyway, after I got home I checked my email and saw I had an email from Facebook that said my rankings had been changed. I looked at it and realized it was pretty depressing, but now that I am doing better today I looked at it again and I just had to laugh. I know these email notifications are set up through Facebook and I can adjust them to my own personal preference, but I just thought it was a sad sort of email to come home to last night. Here is what it said:

"Crystal, your rankings have been changed. Changes in your ranks:
#4 best room-mate (lost 1 place)
#6 kindest (lost 1 place)
#10 nicest (lost 1 place)
#11 best singer (lost 2 places)
#11 most famous (lost 1 place)"

What a morale booster!!! Apparently amongst all my Facebook friends that I was compared with I'm only the 6th kindest, the 10th nicest, and the 4th best roommate. I used to be much higher in these comparisons. Go figure. At any rate, it was a sad email to come home to. It kind of confirmed the way I felt about myself. They should have just made the title of the email something like "Yes. We have confirmed you are a loser." or "Crystal, you really do suck! And here's the numbers to prove it." At least then I wouldn't be curious to open them up. I think I'll go change my Facebook settings. I don't want to know how many places I lost next time around.