Remembering and Birthdays

Monday, May 26, was Memorial day. It was also my birthday.

It happens like that every few years or so. I never really gave the shared days much pondering. I would remember those who had died for our country and celebrate my birthday all on the same day. There was usually some sort of celebration and my own quiet thoughts and prayers of thanks for those who had made the ultimate sacrifice. I will admit that I didn't spend too much time truly pondering what the day meant because, I am embarrassed to admit, I was too busy having a good time celebrating my birthday.

This year it was different.

I've noticed a trend lately that has me quite bothered. This trend involves most any holiday that focuses on one single group of people. It could be Mother's day, Veterans day, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Lent, Father's day, or Memorial day. There may be one or two that I have forgotten but you get the idea. I've noticed that instead of celebrating or honoring the people who the holiday is for, a lot of people tend to include everyone else so as not to make others feel bad or left out.

For example, on Mother's day I had several people wish me a happy Mother's day. I am not a mother. I don't have any children - biological, adopted, or otherwise. I am perfectly fine with this and feel no sorrow or sadness or jealousy for actual mothers getting a day all to themselves. This is not the first year this has happened. It happens practically every year. For the past couple of years I would say something to one person about how I'm not a mother and it would almost immediately be followed up with "Oh, but you're a mother to so many! Look at all your brothers and sisters, your nieces and nephews, any children you help take care of. You are a mother-like figure to all of them!" I didn't quite know how to respond to that so I would just smile and be on my way. However, I decided that enough was enough and this year when anyone wished me a happy Mother's day I started to tell them I wasn't a mother but then stopped. I began telling people that Mother's day is for the mothers of the world and that I did not feel left out or upset in any way that I was not included in that group. I told them I was happy to have a day to celebrate how hard mothers work and how much they do for their children. I told them to let the actual mothers have their day of celebration and to stop wishing every woman they see a happy Mother's day. Reading that last sentence over again makes me sound like a jerk. I promise you I said it in much nicer tones and probably better words.

Memorial day is no exception to this influx of making sure everyone is included. I saw numerous posts on Facebook wishing everyone a happy Memorial day. At first I was confused. This isn't a holiday to wish someone a happy day. Perhaps you could make the argument that they are simply wishing people happy memories of those they have lost. Perhaps, but I doubt it. I also saw numerous posts thanking those people who had sacrificed their lives for our freedom as well as those who continue to serve. Let me clear something up. Memorial day is a day of remembrance for those men and women who have died fighting for our country. It is for us to remember why we are a free country in the first place. It is one day of the year that we can focus our thoughts and gratitude on the people who have willing given up their lives. Their blood is in our soil and we need to take that day to remember what they did for us. Veterans day is a day set aside for us to thank those who have served, and those who continue to serve, our country. That is a day to thank those men and women who are still sacrificing their time and energy and safety to keep us free, as well as those who have served in the military and are still alive.

I took some time to ponder my birthday and Memorial day this year. I realized that every year I get to celebrate my birth into a free country, with all the blessing and freedoms that I enjoy to this very second because of those who have given their life to keep our country safe. It was an interesting juxtaposition: a day to remember those who had died on a day meant to celebrate my own life. I am so grateful for those men and women who willing stepped into the line of fire to defend our country. I am forever thankful that they bravely and courageously offered to protect the freedoms we have today. I can't imagine the effect their sacrifice has had on their families and friends but I cannot seem to put into words my sincerest gratitude and love for each one of those men and women. I am able to celebrate my birth into a free country on the same day we all remember them and what they have done. Don't take that day for granted, and please don't generalize it to include everyone.