The dreams I once had

I remember well the dreams I used to have as a kid for what I wanted to be when I grew up, and what I wanted my life to be like. At first I wanted to be a doctor to help others overcome sickness and pain, and to bring happiness into the world. Then, as I started to realize how being a doctor was not always a good thing, I changed my mind and decided I wanted to be a singer.

I learned how to sing thanks in no small part to my older sister who decided one day she had had enough of my feeble attempt at singing, and so she punched me right in the stomach. Of course it was a shock, and not at all the way I imagined learning how to sing would be. I clearly remember her standing over me, ignoring my efforts to gain my breath and snubbing my evil stares in her direction as she proudly said, "Now that's how you should sing; from your stomach!" I wanted to kick her, but in that moment I knew she was absolutely right. So I started to sing and was certain my future would be on the stage in front of hundreds of thousands of people. Sadly, somewhere in between my junior year in high school and about ten years ago I realized I would never be able to have the singing career I thought I wanted. So I gave up on that dream, though I still sing today.

Now, every once in a while I hear the faint whisperings of what could have been, where I could be, and what I could have been doing and to be honest it makes me long for times past. I have had so many dreams that I thought I would follow; so many tales I was sure I was going to tell. It's hard to let go, really. It's hard to consciously choose to go down a different path, confident you will never see the dream again. It's hard to turn away. But you do. Maybe it's because you know you should. Maybe it's because you have to.

Tonight I realized another dream that I won't be able to achieve. It is time for me to lay this dream to rest, and focus on the things I have yet to create dreams for. Dreams don't have to be grand visions of the ultimate successes in one's life. They are the small and simple things, the large and beautiful, the weak and mild. They are what we set our hearts on and what we reach our hands out for. They are what keep us going day in and day out.

I honestly feel that if we give up on our dreams then we give up on ourselves. May the Lord bless you all to know what dreams to pursue, and what dreams to lay down...and may you have the courage to do both.