Jumbled

I'm all jumbled in my head and my heart and I'm finding it hard to make even the simplest of decisions. I am burnt out. I've been helping my husband get his online portfolio updated and that has proven to be maddening! I have practically lived in my study for two days now, and it makes me want to take my office chair and burn it in rebellion. It's not good when you start to loathe inanimate objects.

I wasn't able to take a shower for almost two days due to all the work we have been doing. We have a deadline and there was a lot to get done, and when I focus on a project, I really focus. It's just easier for me to get it all done and then not have to deal with it anymore rather than take a bunch of little breaks. I do take breaks here and there, but knowing what I have to come back to (that wretched office chair) makes it so difficult to drag myself back in here. And yes, I'm sitting on the blasted chair right now typing this all up, but it's OK. We have come to peaceful terms with each other now. I finally finished my part of the work and decided it was time to peel myself off the chair and clean all the grime off of me.

Aren't showers great? Seriously, I don't know how anyone ever survived in olden days without taking a bath or a shower every day. It just feels good to be clean, and to smell nice, and it really makes you feel better. I had every intention of hiding away in my room for the rest of the day watching movies and napping. I know it sounds luxurious, but it is more of a necessity. My body still needs to heal and running around like a chicken with its head cut off for the past three weeks has only proved to make my health worse. Case in point: after spending the entire day yesterday on this project I was down to the last few hours. I had just finished making some changes and went to hit "save" when the application crashed and I lost the stuff I had changed. I know, I know. It's my fault for not hitting the save button more frequently, but didn't you read what I said previously? When I focus on a project I really focus. And so it was that I had to go back and redo everything that had taken me two hours to do in the first place. I finally pulled myself away around 11 pm and went to bed. When I got up this morning I looked in the mirror and realized that I had a cold sore.

Really?

A cold sore?

Now?

AGAIN!!!???

I usually only get one cold sore a year maybe. But I just got over having one about a week ago and here comes another one planting itself down like it's found a new home. The nerve! So this morning I began working on the project again and ended up finishing just about an hour ago. Then we get a note in our door that says our lease is ready to be signed and now my husband wants to run out and sign it. I can't blame him really. He's a mover and a shaker, so it's been just as hard on him to sit here and work on the computer doing his stuff. But I just want to rest. I don't know when I'll be able to do that again, though. It seems there is always something that comes up that has prevented me from doing so. Ah, forget it. I'll just go sign the dumb lease and be done with it. Then I can relax the whole rest of the day...right?