Plenty of time for thinking

I'm alone by myself most of the time since James works, and honestly, that's fine for me. I have time to myself, time for rest when I'm not feeling my best, time to work on very small projects (or individual steps within a big project) and, of course, plenty of time for thinking.

Being sick has its ups and downs, as I am sure any person who has had to deal with a lengthy sickness can tell you. The big things are the scariest things, and those are the items that you really focus on, such as having surgery, radiation therapy, and one day overcoming cancer. Those big things keep you pretty occupied, and thank the Lord for that because the last thing a person needs is to be occupied with anything else at that time in their life. However, there are a bunch (and I mean a bunch) of little things that come up that are unexpected and frustrating, and worrisome. But after everything else you are going through during the recovery period, you don't want to run to the doctor for every little thing.

Enter the Internet. Now, the internet is a great place to find resources, research, and information about the myriad of little things that come up seemingly out of the blue. It can be both good and bad. I remember years ago at a job I had when my co-worker and I were talking about a test he recently had done and he wanted to find out some more information before his next doctor's appointment. I suggested he go to webmd.com, but his eyes got huge and he repeatedly shook his head as he whispered urgently, "Don't ever go to that site! You could look up a cut on your finger and the next thing you know you are dying of cancer!" I must admit, I laughed. I thought he was making it up because I had found lots of good information there before. True, I wasn't looking up anything about a cut on my finger, but still. A few days later my sister had the same reaction. She said not to go to webmd.com because if you tried to do a search on an ingrown toenail without fail it would make you think that you had several infections (and rare) diseases that you would die from. It's funny to think about it now, but I can understand their reactions. Webmd was a big name when it first came out and was full of every possible diagnosis for even the simplest of things. With that much information it's no wonder people were freaking out.

Things have considerably calmed down, but I like to visit Mayoclinic.com since their information is a bit more vague. Plus they have great articles and good tips on a whole slew of things that come in very handy. So today when I was surprised by an unexpected health issue, I calmly made my way over there and found out it was another lovely side effect of everything I am going through. Perfect. Now I can get on with my day and spend my thoughts on something else, thank you very much.

GUM!!

Anyone who has ever tried to scour through their purse, bag, car, wallet, desk, or drawer can attest to the sheer desperation of hoping....NO! needing to find a piece of gum. And it's not just a piece they are looking for, they are looking for any piece. A stale piece that has been long forgotten in an inconspicuous pocket; a half piece that was saved instead of thrown out; a rock hard blob that is so old the wax package disintegrates at the first touch. Any hope that a piece of gum is in all likelihood still somewhere around the near vicinity is dashed once all secret hiding places, covert stashes, and haphazard tossings have been thoroughly investigated. I have been in this state for over the past few weeks when my then bountiful supply of gum had been depleted...or so I thought it was bountiful. I'm afraid to say that I lost track of my gum stock and have been miserable without those lovely little blessings from heaven. Ah! The thin silver wrappers, the soft pliable sticks, the cool minty burst...so long have I been without! "Gum" was added to the shopping list several times, but somehow it was always forgotten. It would only be after we got home and had everything put away that we realized what we had done. I blame myself, really. I don't chew it quite as often as I used to, but I still chew it quite a bit. Being without my precious commodity for so long almost brings a tear to my eye! But not anymore, my friends! Today I finally bought some gum.

VICTORY IS MINE!!

Upon arriving home I immediately placed one pack in my car.

All in a matter of hours

This picture was taken at 12:57 pm. It's cloudy and cold.


This picture was taken at 1:22 pm. It's pouring down rain.


This picture was taken at 4:17 pm. It's almost a blizzard out there and it's still going strong.

Evolution of our Mac

The hard drive on our Mac crashed over the weekend, so now we have to get a new hard drive installed. It's never fun when your computer crashes. At least we have another one we use all the time, so no harm done really. We just really liked the Mac and now it's in the shop. Once we get it back though, it is going to be nice and fancy!! It's not really a new Mac. It's just a new hard drive, but it's a bigger one. Hopefully it doesn't happen again anytime soon.

Days Like Today

I love days like today. Where the sky is cloudy and the threat of rain is on the not too distant horizon. Where the cold breeze sweeps across my face and a small chill runs down my spine warning me of the impending storm. Where it's not cold enough to snow, but in a few hours it might be. Where a spring time storm can turn into a winter blizzard within the same day. I love the dark, thick clouds that envelope the mountain slowly throughout the morning, and the sky starts to turn black. I love the feel of the air and how even the birds know a change is coming. Yes, I love all these things, but mostly I love that I am actually feeling well enough to enjoy a day like today. Where I am out amongst the living, giggling at the comments and panic stricken faces of my fellow shoppers who consistently look toward the sky and the mountain, anxious to finish their tasks before the rain comes. I love that I feel almost human and can enjoy things like this. Yes, today is a great day. I love days like today.



Oh, my friends. The rain has come!

My latest adventure in the fight against migraines

Today my apartment is cold, which is odd since it is rather warm outside. It's so cold, in fact, that I am shaking almost uncontrollably. So, while I wait for my apartment (and myself) to warm up a bit, I thought I would relate to you all my latest adventure in the fight against my migraines.

Most, if not all, of you know that I suffer from incredibly painful and frequent migraines. Just this past week I had four migraines in a row. Needless to say, my weekend sucked. Oh, well. Anyway, these horrid migraines have gone on for the better part of ten years, and I am still trying to find something, anything, that will take them away forever...or at least bring it down to one every month or longer. These three and four times a week ones just have to stop.

I'll spare you all the awful details of my world while I am having migraines as I'm sure I've told most of you how bad it really is. And for those unlucky enough to experience migraines for themselves, my deepest sympathies. ~shudder~

Having tried, and failed, many (MANY) different drug therapies in order to reduce the amount and severity of my migraines, my doctor thought it might be time for me to try Botox. Yes, that's right. That Botox. It's not just for wrinkles, my friends. Many studies have been performed and research gathered into the wondrous effects of Botox for chronic migraine suffers, much like myself. My doctor has been "injecting people for 19 years" (his words, er, the words of his nurse), so I felt confident that he knew what he was talking about. Besides, I had already heard of the benefits of Botox injections for others with migraines, but never thought it would be something I could do. I don't know why. I just didn't. Perhaps it was the thought of having toxic poison injected into my face that kind of turned me off to it. However, there is a point that all migraineurs reach in which they will try anything in the hopes that it will reduce their migraines even the smallest amount. I've more than reached that point, so I thought I didn't really have anything to lose. I researched it more on my own. I asked lots of questions. I sought advice from others who had been injected with Botox. Finally, I was ready to try it.

Yesterday James and I went in for my first Botox treatment, (My insurance approved me for four treatments over a year. Botox injections are given at three month intervals) and it would be an understatement to say that I was nervous. However, my doctor and his nurse were both really good at catering to me and answering my repeat questions. It was good to have James there, both for moral support and to drive us home in case I had some odd reaction to it. I really wasn't sure what to think about the whole process and wasn't sure how I would feel afterward, so I thought it would be best to bring him along. Besides all that, he was rather good at taking pictures of the experience, the first picture being his favorite.

The process itself only took about 20 minutes. They connected some little sensors to the back of my neck so they could hear the muscle movements and activity. The needle was connected to a long thin wire that in turn connected to an EMG machine, which is what monitored the muscle activity. My doctor said my head and neck muscles sounded like a jet plane about to take off and that indicated that they were extremely tight. Apparently they aren't supposed to be that way. He started in the back of my head just above my neck on the left side. He'd insert the needle, listen for the jet plane sound (it wasn't long at all) and then inject the Botox at that exact spot. Doing it this way assures that the Botox gets exactly where it needs to be and helps relax the muscles that cause the migraines. The only thing that hurt in the back of my head was when he stuck the needle in. I didn't feel the Botox being injected, it didn't burn, and it didn't make me feel weird. There was one spot, on the right side of my head just above my neck that hurt pretty bad, but I think it must have been just a sensitive spot.

After he did the back, he moved around to the temporal muscle that is by your temples. Let's do this. Bite down hard, right now, and then feel the muscle on the side of your head by your temples. Bite up and down a few times until you find it, then bite down hard when you do. Can you feel the muscle? If not, then you are good. If you can feel it a little bit, then it's a little tight. But if it causes your fingers to move away from the side of your head then that's really really tight and it shouldn't be. That was what mine were like when we did it yesterday. The doctor and the nurse just kept commenting about how tight that muscle was. I had no idea. I told them I was a gum chewer, though and they said it could contribute to it, but not that much. What can I say? I have really tight muscles. Then he injected Botox into the muscles in my cheek next to my jaw on both sides of my face.

Once that section was complete, he moved to my forehead. This is where the stinging pain took place. He injected the muscle in between my eyes first. He made me scowl and then quickly injected the muscles. Then he did about 6 or 8 injections into my forehead (you can see the red marks on my forehead in the last two pictures below), but I had to have him stop a couple of times and wait for a minute until the pain settled a bit. I could feel the Botox being injected in my forehead, but it was nothing bit and that didn't hurt. It was just the needle itself being stuck into my skin that hurt.

Then it was done. It didn't take long at all and after it was over, some of the spots didn't even hurt and felt like they did when I first walked in. A couple of spots took a few hours to die down, but the pain was minimal to say the least. This morning I woke up with a headache, but it was similar to the start of the migraines I had four days in a row last week. It was interesting because I knew that any other day it would turn into something horrible and I would be incapacitated for the rest of the day. However, it's almost as if my muscles and nerves have refused to acknowledge most of the pain. I have a bit of a headache around my forehead and eyes, but that could be from looking at the computer screen. I am extremely hopeful that this will work. It takes three to ten days for the Botox to settle in and then lasts for about three months before I have to go back for another treatment. Sometimes, it takes a few sessions before it really starts to take full effect. I'm definitely going to be monitoring my migraines much closer than I have before (if that's even possible) and see if there is any difference. I think this might actually work. At least I hope it does.


You're gonna do WHAT?!?!


Oh, man. That one hurt bad. On the side in the back of the neck.


Injecting into the muscles in the back of the head and neck.


This is where the temporal muscle is.


Right in the forehead. That hurt the most.


Happy smiles again. I survived.


ok, you can stop taking pictures now.