Today was a difficult day for me as I woke up with an extremely painful migraine. James had to teach the lesson in church by himself, and that made me feel bad. See, we (James and I) are trying to figure out just exactly what is causing my migraines. He thinks they have been much more prevalent during the winter than any other time of year. We are trying to see if this is the case by writing down all the times I have a migraine and what the weather was like the day before, and the day of. Well, yesterday the weather here in Colorado was a beautiful 60 or 70 degrees. It was beautiful, sunny, and a little windy. However, today when the alarm went off and I wished I could throw it out of the window, we saw that it was snowing and about 30 degrees. It stayed cold all day and it is even snowing again now. The weather is supposed to stay cool and rainy/snowy for the next few days, so I should be safe. I'm thinking James may be correct in his thinking about the weather and my migraines.
To stick with my goal of finding the good out of life, you may be wondering what the good could be from getting a migraine and thus making my husband teach a class of 9 and 10 year olds by himself. Well, the good thing is James. He amazes me with his kindness, his generosity, and his selflessness. He never hesitates to get me medicine, or a cold towel to place over my eyes and head; he never complains and never waivers. He is such a wonderful example to me of selfless love. It is during times like this, when I am most helpless, that I wonder what he sees in me. I have been moved to tears before thinking about how much he does for me, and how little I feel I do for him. But above everything else I know he loves me beyond any doubt. I may not know why, but I know that he does and for that I am extremely grateful.
I like to read the story in the Bible about the woman who was stricken with an issue of blood that no doctor could fix. For so long she suffered, begged, and prayed to be made whole but nothing could be done. One day she hears someone say that Jesus is coming and for the first time she realizes that she can be healed if all she does is just touch his robes. The hope and faith that entered her heart must have caused her such joy that I imagine she all but ran into the street, and threw herself into the crowd willing herself to push through and touch the robes before he passed. Sometimes I can feel the panic she may have had when she thought she might miss her chance, but finally she was able to touch the robes. In that very instant she was healed. Her faith in what the Savior could do cleared up any "issue" that lingered. And in the crowd of followers who were pushing and shoving, when she thought he would never notice, he stopped and asked who touched him. I often wonder what went through her mind in that moment. Did she waiver? Was she afraid he would be upset? Should she run? Of course she did not fear. She was just cured of any and all sickness! How could someone be afraid after such a miracle?
Often when I am in my darkest hour of pain and fear I may never be made whole, I reflect on this story of amazing faith and keep pushing my way through the crowd. I don't want to miss my chance to touch his robes and be healed.
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