How I Am Now

Again, I apologize for the lengthy delay in making a new post. Life just...happens, and before I know it, it's been about seven months since I last posted anything. I like to read blogs from people who have experienced the same things I have, and it always causes me concern when they say they are going to keep updating everyone on how they are doing but they don't. I think I have become that person about three or four times now. So, let me give you an update on my health and life.

The surgery was about eight months ago and things are healing well. My scar is not as noticeable, well at least not to me. I still see people try and sneak peeks at it while they talk to me. I don't mind. I thought children would be the ones to look and point and ask questions, but honestly it's been the adults. That surprised me. No one has been mean or rude to me or made fun of my scar or anything, but it's always surprising to me to meet someone for the first time and have them look me in the eyes, then stare at my neck. It's kind of funny, actually. It doesn't bother me at all. I know what I've had to go through to get that scar and I'm grateful that I'm on the healing end of it now.

My neck is sore and tight quite often. There isn't a move I make with my neck that I don't feel muscles protesting and nerves reminding me where they are. It's not extremely painful, but it can be bothersome. I don't like things touching my neck because it feels weird, so I don't wear necklaces anymore. Perhaps some day I will, but for now I don't. I also have a very sensitive spot just below my collar bone on the right side. I can't even tough it without it sending some serious nerve pain down my body. I try and keep anything off of it, so I can often be found pulling at the neckline of my shirts to try and adjust it so it isn't touching that spot. My doctor said a lot of people complain about that sensitive spot. I'm not worried about it, and there isn't anything that can be done about it, but I just find it interesting.

I'm still extremely tired. I thought that would get better, but it hasn't and I'm trying to deal with this new normal for me. I try and plan things for after a certain time in the morning, and before a certain time in the afternoon. These times work the best for me so that I'm able to get the rest I need, and if I do have a busy day then I have the late afternoon and early evening to rest. This isn't a "I didn't sleep so well last night" kind of tired. This is a whole new level of tired. Exhaustion is closer, really. I'll be in the middle of a sentence and it'll hit me. This is a "if I don't sleep right now I am going to pass out" kind of tired. There are things I've learned to work around and plan and prepare for. Going to church on Sundays is great, but really exhausting to me so I end up taking a very long nap each Sunday after church. I went to a Family History Fair a few weeks ago and it was really awesome! I was there for five hours helping out and attending a couple of the classes, but then I had to leave because I had exhausted myself. The rest of the day was spent lying down and sleeping. I haven't found a happy medium yet. Yesterday I was feeling alright and so I was able to do a few more things. Today I am wiped out and ended up sleeping until early afternoon, and I still don't feel that great. So, it's a day by day sort of thing. Again, I'm trying to adjust to this new normal for me.

My blood tests are all good and where they need to be. I still have frequent doctor appointments but that's alright because I want to make sure that everything is healing nicely. The scar is healing, my blood levels are good, but the side effects, if you will, are what are hard to get used to. Everyone is different in how they heal from any type of surgery so what I have gone through may not be how someone else goes through the same thing. They may be fine and ready to conquer the world a month after their surgery, or they may take an extra six months to heal properly. Who knows? If any of you are experiencing health issues, I empathize with your situation. It's never easy. If any of you have any questions for me, please ask me in the comments section. Thanks for sticking with me! I'll try and do better going forward.