My Husband, James

Ah, James. The most wonderful man I know, next to my dad, of course. But just like my dad, James can make me laugh and see things from a different perspective that I never thought of before. It's extremely hard for him to get, or be, angry. He appreciates the way the clouds move across the sky, or how the mountains look after a good snowfall. He'd probably love to take pictures of everything if ever we could remember to bring the camera.


He's a man who loves to play with my parent's dogs Jelly Bean and Cocoa. He can tire them out when no one else wants to even look at them, and he genuinely enjoys it. He runs and jumps and plays and gives himself a headache and heartburn, but he sure does love those dogs. One day we'll have a couple of Chinese Pugs ourselves so that he can run and jump and play with them as well.


He is always making some kind of a joke out of something...most of the time out of something someone says. He loves making a play on words, so much so that I have found myself doing it as well, though I'm not nearly as quick as he is. He's just so funny. And he'll more than likely do anything I ask him to, whether it's a funny pose or a crazy jig. I love how he trusts me to not make him feel foolish, but I'm sure he does some of those things just to see me smile and hear me laugh.


He has some pretty crazy facial expressions. I found myself picking them up and using them at work. One time I nearly scared one of my coworkers half to death by doing the very same facial expression seen here. It was funny, and I had to explain how it came from James, but still I laughed all the way home that day. One of his more infamous facial expressions makes it look as if he is in the most excruciating pain. I have yet to capture that one, but when I do you'll know exactly what I am talking about.


He's always up for a celebration, no matter what the occasion is. And no matter where we go or what we do, he always, ALWAYS, opens every door for me. In fact, he has been known to push me out of the way of a door so I don't open it myself. Then he'll open it for me as we both just laugh. I love that he does that, though. I try not to take it for granted, though one time at the store I stopped at the door for a second waiting for him to open the door for me, then I realized he wasn't there and I was a little embarrassed. It was funny.


Did you know that he loves to build forts out of pillows and blankets? And especially so on me? When I have a migraine that has toned down a bit, in order to make me feel better he'll pile pillows onto my head and drape blankets over them so that just my face is visible through a little cave. He calls it "Fort Crystal" then laughs proudly as if he has just created a beautiful masterpiece. I can't help but smile at his excitement when he does that.


The man loves hot chocolate, especially on cold snowy days. In fact, if it snows at all on any given day, he'll make himself a big cup of hot chocolate when he gets home. It's interesting to me, really, because I don't always feel like having hot chocolate on snowy days, but with him it's a must. What can I say? The man loves his hot chocolate.


And football. Don't even think about trash talking the Broncos to James because he will definitely be able to hold his own...and maybe even get you to change your mind/opinion. He is a die hard Broncos fan through and through and nothing anyone can ever say will ever change that. Come what may, James will be a Broncos fan for life no matter where we live.


He looks fantastic in a suit and tie, and even better in black slacks and a white shirt. He holds true to his beliefs, his morals, his testimony, and he honors the priesthood. He loves the gospel and loves to serve in the church. He knows the scriptures and seeks every day to try and be/do better. He is such a stalwart example to me, and I'm striving to be more like him.


He is such a big help to me in so many ways, and not just for taking down the Christmas tree each year. Anything I need, he gets it, and I don't even have to ask sometimes. He's so kind and thoughtful! I could mention casually, under my breath, that I was a bit thirsty and he'll get me a big glass of ice cold water. Whenever I have a migraine, no matter what time of the day (or night) it is, he'll get me cold wet wash clothes to put on my face, and medicine to take. He'll wake from a deep sleep just to help me feel more comfortable. I feel like a queen whenever I am around him, and sometimes that's really hard because I don't feel I deserve it...or him.


He is usually warm, but it takes hardly any time at all for his hands to become so cold they hurt. If he takes out a package from the freezer, it makes his hands so cold he has to run them under hot water to make them warm again. Whenever he comes home from the greenhouse, though, he is always warm and he says "I'm toasty like a lizard!" It takes a lot to cool him down after working all day in the greenhouse, but he's such a hard worker and honestly tries as hard as he can to do his best every day. I love holding his hand because I always feel so safe and protected when I am near him.


I love this man more than words can possibly say, and I am so glad that he found me, and loved me, and still loves me. I can't believe that someone like him found someone like me and wanted to be with me for the rest of his life and throughout all eternity.


I grew up singing in choir and solo competitions and this was one song that I sang numerous times. This is exactly how I feel about James, my husband. He is everything to me, my life, my whole world and he makes me so unbelievably happy.

Oh, my aching head

Yesterday was a really bad day. It was right up there with one of the worst migraines of my life, and the hardest part was trying to keep myself from crying. There have only been a couple of times when the pain in my head was so severe that it brought me to tears. I know there are people out there who can completely understand this. It's only natural to cry when there is a severe amount of pain, no matter where it is in/on the body. That pain yesterday was too much for me to keep bottled in, and so, as I sat with my head on my husband's chest wishing for the good Lord to just take me away already, I surprised myself by bursting into tears and sobbing almost uncontrollably. And that, my friends, is a very bad thing when you have a migraine because it only makes the pain worse. It took extreme effort for me to calm myself down enough to stop crying, and when I did I was in a sorrier state than I had previously been, which is saying a lot.

I'm sure there might be someone out there who is probably thinking about what a baby I am for crying over a headache, and from your viewpoint I can see how you would think that. But for one minute I would love to have you jump inside my head, feel the pain I feel, and then come out and tell me if you would not do the same thing, or at least something comparable. 99% of the time I can work my way through the pain. 99% of the time I can try to relax and calm myself down enough to tolerate the pain until the medicine kicks in, or I fall asleep struggling with the effort. Yesterday was a really bad day.

I've had migraines for the past ten years, and they didn't start slowly, I'll tell you that much. One day, in the summer of 1999 I was hit with a migraine so bad it knocked me out for the rest of the day. Naturally, I thought I was dying, that some dormant tumor had decided to explode suddenly and I was sure that was the end. It was horrible, and has only progressed from there.

I've tried pretty much every medication you can find on the market to get rid of the migraine when I have it, and to prevent it from coming all together. So far, I haven't found the miracle treatment that will reduce my migraines to just one a month, if not have them disappear all together. Since the first of April I have had six migraines and last month I had ten total. No rhyme, no reason, no pattern, just pain.

Anyone else who has had migraines, or currently suffers from them, will know the immense feeling of loss as a result. My migraines last between 12 and 24 hours with no let up and because of this I miss entire days of my life. Plans have to be cancelled, feelings are hurt, people get frustrated, and I end up miserable and depressed with a lovely little thing I like to call the migraine hangover. I've never been drunk, so I really don't know what it feels like to have a hangover from a night of alcohol, but I can tell you that having a migraine hangover is not too pretty either. First, you are exhausted. This is a kind of odd position to be in since you spent the previous day literally lying in bed, or the couch, or a chair, because you physically aren't able to do anything else. However, it makes perfect sense because you spend every last bit of energy you can muster focused on trying to relieve the pain. It takes a lot of out of you. Second, you are depressed. I'm not too sure why this happens, but it's a struggle too. You're depressed from having to deal with another migraine again, with missing out on an entire day of your life, with letting friends and family down, with having such severe pain, and frustrated at not being able to get rid of the blasted things in the first place. Plus, your entire body is just so tired and weak and that doesn't help things out either. The only good thing is that this piece doesn't last, so you just muddle through it. And third the migraine might come back, so throughout the day you have to make sure you don't overdo anything in case something you do causes the migraine to come back and you're right back where you were the day before. And no one wants that.

When I get a migraine, I truly do my best to never ask "why me?". I know that's something that could be so easy to shout to the heavens. I do ask why, but it's more of a "why did this one come on today? What caused it?" or "why can't these things stop?" But I find myself not able to answer those questions and so, to stop myself from going mad and getting angry I try not to ask why it came on. I figure I can work on that problem after the pain has subsided. It's like when someone says their stomach is hurting and they throw up and someone inevitably asks "what did you eat?". That's the last thing they should be thinking about right then.

Anyway, this post is much longer than I thought it would be, so thanks for sticking through to the end. I write about my migraines so that people can understand what it is like, and to show those who suffer from migraines currently that they are not alone. It's such a debilitating thing and totally sucks all the energy out of you, but thankfully they do go away...even if it is only for a little while.

I guess he's just lucky

James and I took my little sister to Dave and Busters (a local eat and play place for all ages) for her 18th birthday. We all had a lot of fun and spent the afternoon playing all the fun arcade games and multiplayer games in the place. My sister had never been there before, so it was really fun to see her so excited about it. By the way, she totally dominated at Guitar Hero on expert level. She was amazing!! The surprise of the day, though, came from James when he won 1000 tickets from the Spin-N-Win game not once, not twice...but FIVE TIMES!! It was incredible! I guess he's just lucky.