Recently I have learned some new things about others that I never knew before. Three of these things have hurt my feelings very much, though the people involved may not (nor may ever) know that. I don't know if the reason why I am just finding out about these things is due to my own blindness at the situation/event/person's interpretation, or if they feel like they are in a safe enough situation to say what they think and how they felt. I honestly don't know. Sometimes I am shocked to think how little I truly know about these people, and also how little I know about myself.
I am not going to explain what those recent three experiences were to cause such a shake up of my heart and mind, but I have decided there are a few things I have wanted to say (both good and bad) but never had the heart to do so...until now. I need to get these out of my mind to make room for other things I would like to dwell on more consistently. Yes, they are going to be cryptic as that is my intention. I don't think I will ever be able to say these things to the individual in person but at least they will be said and, it is my hope, will no longer effect me and I can move on to becoming better. So, here it goes:
1. I want to tell someone that he hurt me very badly and our relationship/friendship will never be the same again.
2. I want to tell someone that I am so incredibly jealous of her life and everything that she is. I don't know why, but I really am.
3. I want to tell someone that he will probably never know how much I truly cared for him.
4. I want to tell someone that she is just plain mean, and biased, and does not care who she offends.
5. I want to tell someone that she ROCKS and I can't believe how fantastic she is.
6. I want to tell someone that he is so great I want to hang out with him as much as I can.
7. I want to tell someone that I really look up to him, respect him, and wish I could try to be more like him...and secretly I think how he would handle something and try to do it the same way.
8. I want to tell someone that the pity factor has absolutely NO effect on me.
9. I want to tell someone that she doesn't know me and needs to stop telling everyone that she does.
10. I want to tell someone that she needs to back off or she'll incur the wrath o' me, and believe me it's not pretty.
11. I want to tell someone that things have changed so much between us that we aren't able to have the same friendship we once had. And I think that makes me the most sad.
12. I want to tell someone that I miss him incredibly and think of him often.
13. I want to tell someone that she needs to just stop talking.
14. I want to tell someone that I wish he would support me more.
15. I want to tell someone that I wish she would like me.
16. I want to tell someone that I may just be a lost cause but I am glad he has never given up on me.
17. I want to tell someone that I don't like doing some things and I wish he would understand that.
That's all for now.
