Sunday, May 24

Some thoughts on cancer

Today was rather uneventful, which is good because I wasn't feeling well so I ended up sleeping a lot. My neck hurts and they told me it might, but I didn't expect it this far after the RAI. I thought it would be the same day, or at the very least the day after. I'm tired of being tied up in the house, afraid of touching anything for fear it will be radioactive and hurt James. And I miss James. It's not the same without him here. At least he comes home tomorrow, so that's good. When I spoke to him on the phone tonight I must admit that I teared up a little bit because it was good to hear his voice. I'll be happy to see him after he gets home from work.

You know, there have been so many people who have told me that having thyroid cancer is a good thing; it's a good cancer, "the best one to have". I recall all too vividly my doctor saying to me "If you have to get a cancer, this is the one to get!" I seriously beg to differ. Having any type of cancer is difficult. It's difficult on the person who has it, the family, friends and loved ones around him/her, work and life schedules, and just everything. Sure, thyroid cancer has a high success rate; 95%! However, we have to go through a lot of treatment in order to have that, and I don't think people fully understand that. They get caught up on the high success rate and don't realize there is so much more to it.  A book I am reading hits it home all too well with this paragraph:

"...the first thing most people diagnosed with thyroid cancer hear is, 'This is a good cancer.' But because it's a 'good cancer,' there has been an assumption that thyroid cancer patients do not suffer and do not need the same level of psychosocial support as other cancer patients. Thyroid cancer patients go through a great deal of treatment to become and remain cancer free. So hearing that you've got a 'good cancer' is not that comforting when you're struggling to fight cancer."

It has been an interesting experience these last few months. It started in September of last year and has not stopped yet. I still have a long way to go before I am considered cancer free. It has been a hard journey, and truthfully I am glad to be blessed with the strength I need to keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep going. Again, I appreciate all the support everyone has provided me. You all make it so much easier for me to continue fighting this. Thank you.

3 comments:

Jessica said...

Oh you dear sweet thing! I just want to hug you right now! I can't imagine all your going through and every post I read of yours I become increasingly impressed at your strength, courage and ever present eloquence! You have shown what a fighter you are and you have to be a fighter with cancer-good cancer or not! You amaze me and are such an example of how to take it all in stride. Thank you for sharing your feelings-I feel like I've been made a stronger person because of you!

Chilly Beans said...

Oh, you are so sweet. See, it's comments like that, and great people like you that make me strong and cause me to continue to fight. Thank you. You just made my day. :)

Rachel said...

Yesterday in RS we talked about forgiving others of little things, because others have forgiven their trespassers of so much worse. Your trial isn't in need of forgiveness, but I was reminded of this difficulty that you have faced and think that I could be a lot more appreciative of my trivial trials. I'm sorry I wasn't always there for you when you probably needed someone, but I hope you have felt of my prayers in your behalf. God bless you Crystal! "Be still my soul, the Lord is on thy side. With patience bear thy cross of grief or pain...thy God shall undertake, to guide thy future as He has the past. Thy hope thy confidence, let nothing shake." (I really love that song!)