I haven't been feeling all that well lately, so I've been spending a lot of time resting and recuperating. I had two migraines over the weekend and worked myself a little too hard in the garden on Saturday. Today I just did not want to go anywhere or do anything, but I had some letters I needed to get out in the mail, and really should have sent them last week. So, after a few hours of talking myself into going out I finally decided to get ready. Really, all I wanted was some ice cream. I wanted some yesterday, but wasn't able to get any so I figured I would go mail the letters and then swing by the store and pick myself up a little frozen treat. However, I knew the second I got into the car that I really did not want to go out.
I'm a big fan of multitasking. I just think it makes sense most of the time and so I thought I would pick up a few items at the store. When I got to the store there were about a billion people there and it was hard to find a decent spot to park and since I am still having muscle issues in my legs and back I have to use that stupid cart that has THE loudest beep when you need to back up. Not only that, but everybody stares when you use it. I hate having to use those things, but I try to just do my thing and get out. All I wanted was some ice cream and after I got a basket of petunias, a snack for James when he gets home, some tomatoes for dinner, and another tube of sunscreen I figured I had picked up enough stuff and made my way to the ice cream section. I was supposed to pick up milk, some sour cream, some half and half, and some chips but I had had enough of weaving in and out of people and waiting for people to get out of the way and trying not to think about all the stares. I grabbed some ice cream I loved but hadn't had in a long while and made for the checkout.
Just as I was putting my items on the counter and thinking maybe I could run a couple more errands, that perhaps I should just suck it up and get the rest of the errands done, some old guy comes up to me, takes my flower basket out of my hand and says, "Here, let me help you with that." as he placed it on the counter. It was such a nice gesture, and I thanked him for his kindness, but I had to force myself to think of something else so I wouldn't cry. I paid for my items and started driving the little cart back out to the parking lot. So dumb. I know. All I wanted was some stupid ice cream!! I wish I just wouldn't have gone out today.
Monday, June 13
A Tribute to My Father - Day One
Father's day is next Sunday and in preparation of that day I thought I would make a tribute to my father each day this week leading up to Sunday. This is day one:
My dad is truly one of the greatest people I know. I love hanging out with him, and growing up I felt like he understood me and what I was going through. He always seemed to have this sixth sense of when I was having a bad day, and I was usually pretty good at keeping my emotions well hidden through the day. However, whenever I got home and saw my dad it would only take one question from him to bring all those emotions straight to the surface. All he had to do was gently ask, "Are you doing alright?" I'm not sure if he was ever fully prepared for the onslaught of teenage emotions whenever he asked me that, but it truly meant a lot to me that he cared enough to ask me in the first place. My dad cares for his children, and I love him for that.
It wasn't only the questions he asked when he felt I was sad or going through a hard time, but it was also the questions he asked when I was acting up and being rude. I remember one time it was after dinner and he told me to go and get my shoes on, that he wanted me to go for a ride with him. Now, when I was a teenager more often than not when my dad told you he wanted you to go for a ride with him it was to have a stronger talk than what he usually gave. I was immediately nervous. I put on my shoes, all the while racking my brain trying to figure out what it was he was going to talk to me about, but I was pretty sure it had something to do with my attitude around the house lately. I mean, I was a young teenager and that in itself can make people snippy. The drive was long and quiet for a while. He didn't say anything; just drove into the dark night. I had no idea where we were going, and since we lived in the desert I had worked myself up to the point where I was beginning to see how easy it would be to drop me off on the side of the road somewhere and drive off without me. My mind was a whirlwind of activity, though no sound left my lips.
After about ten minutes (to me it felt like an eternity) my dad drove up to a McDonald's and ordered a twisted ice cream cone. He asked me what I wanted, and being so thrown off by the drive and the ice cream and how sure I was he was going to abandon me in the desert at night, I was confused. I told him I didn't want any, but he firmly told me to order something. So I got an ice cream cone, too. After that, he pulled into the parking lot and started to have a father-daughter talk with me about my attitude. I don't remember much of how the conversation went because I think I was so relieved that he really wasn't going to ditch me in the desert, not that he would have ever done that in the first place but, it's funny what sort of tricks our minds can play on us in scary situations.
Even though I don't remember the conversation, I remember that my father did not yell, he didn't belittle me and make me feel like a loser, but he calmly (but firmly) talked to me about what was going on and how I needed to make some changes. He did it in a way that both scared me and caused me great respect for him. He only ever had to do that once, because I made sure I never did anything to make him have to do that again. I also greatly appreciated the way he took me aside and talked to me personally instead of yelling at me in front of my brothers and sisters. I am a big advocate for pulling people aside and talking to them and I think it comes from my dad doing the same thing to me. It made quite the impression on me, and I know it couldn't have been easy for my dad to have to speak to one of his kids about behaving better. Thanks, dad, for being willing to talk to me in a way that would make a big impression. I love you!
My dad is truly one of the greatest people I know. I love hanging out with him, and growing up I felt like he understood me and what I was going through. He always seemed to have this sixth sense of when I was having a bad day, and I was usually pretty good at keeping my emotions well hidden through the day. However, whenever I got home and saw my dad it would only take one question from him to bring all those emotions straight to the surface. All he had to do was gently ask, "Are you doing alright?" I'm not sure if he was ever fully prepared for the onslaught of teenage emotions whenever he asked me that, but it truly meant a lot to me that he cared enough to ask me in the first place. My dad cares for his children, and I love him for that.
It wasn't only the questions he asked when he felt I was sad or going through a hard time, but it was also the questions he asked when I was acting up and being rude. I remember one time it was after dinner and he told me to go and get my shoes on, that he wanted me to go for a ride with him. Now, when I was a teenager more often than not when my dad told you he wanted you to go for a ride with him it was to have a stronger talk than what he usually gave. I was immediately nervous. I put on my shoes, all the while racking my brain trying to figure out what it was he was going to talk to me about, but I was pretty sure it had something to do with my attitude around the house lately. I mean, I was a young teenager and that in itself can make people snippy. The drive was long and quiet for a while. He didn't say anything; just drove into the dark night. I had no idea where we were going, and since we lived in the desert I had worked myself up to the point where I was beginning to see how easy it would be to drop me off on the side of the road somewhere and drive off without me. My mind was a whirlwind of activity, though no sound left my lips.
After about ten minutes (to me it felt like an eternity) my dad drove up to a McDonald's and ordered a twisted ice cream cone. He asked me what I wanted, and being so thrown off by the drive and the ice cream and how sure I was he was going to abandon me in the desert at night, I was confused. I told him I didn't want any, but he firmly told me to order something. So I got an ice cream cone, too. After that, he pulled into the parking lot and started to have a father-daughter talk with me about my attitude. I don't remember much of how the conversation went because I think I was so relieved that he really wasn't going to ditch me in the desert, not that he would have ever done that in the first place but, it's funny what sort of tricks our minds can play on us in scary situations.
Even though I don't remember the conversation, I remember that my father did not yell, he didn't belittle me and make me feel like a loser, but he calmly (but firmly) talked to me about what was going on and how I needed to make some changes. He did it in a way that both scared me and caused me great respect for him. He only ever had to do that once, because I made sure I never did anything to make him have to do that again. I also greatly appreciated the way he took me aside and talked to me personally instead of yelling at me in front of my brothers and sisters. I am a big advocate for pulling people aside and talking to them and I think it comes from my dad doing the same thing to me. It made quite the impression on me, and I know it couldn't have been easy for my dad to have to speak to one of his kids about behaving better. Thanks, dad, for being willing to talk to me in a way that would make a big impression. I love you!
Thursday, June 9
Here I Am!
Hello again, blogger world! I know it's been almost two months since I last posted anything, but sometimes I think I really don't have anything new to share with you all so i don't write anything. However, these last couple of months have been busy!!
In May, James' sister Cheryl got married and we had a fun and family-filled weekend helping and participating in that. It was so awesome to be around James' family again, especially the ones who are from out of town and we don't get to see as often. Of course it was a beautiful wedding, and we all had a great time.
Then it was my birthday, which was pretty much uneventful because I had a vicious migraine that day, but James made me a cake the next day and took me out to lunch and a movie. We went to Ruby Tuesday's and watched Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. It wasn't the best one of the four, but it was fun to see a movie in the theater again. We haven't been in so long.
Then we had to get ready for James' last term for his second Bachelor's degree. We are so excited for this and have been working hard at updating his online portfolio and applying for jobs within his field.
And along the way, we have been working hard at the garden. What? I didn't tell you about our garden? Well! Let me tell you. Uh, James and I have a garden. :)
Seriously, though, James and I have had the fortunate blessing to use some farm land up north to plant a garden. Our church has a welfare farm that they open a part of it up to some of the members to plant and grow a garden if they like. The farm fertilizers the land and waters each week, and we just have to plant our seeds and take care of the rows we are given. We went to an informational meeting about it in early April and began planning from there. And I must say, it has been so stinking fun! The farm is about an hour away and we go up every Saturday morning and see what new items are growing. We have three rows that are 15" wide each and 60' long each, so we have about a 4' x 180' square foot piece of land that we are using for the growing season.
James and I have had a blast figuring out what to plant, purchasing the seeds, and working hard in our garden to get rid of weeds. My brother Jake is using part of our section to grow some of his own vegetables and he has planted sweet corn, carrots, broccoli, cucumbers, and cherry tomatoes. We have the rest of the area and we have planted potatoes, horseradish, carrots, onions, bush beans, sunflowers, big boy tomatoes, cauliflower, bell peppers, squash, zucchini, pickling cucumbers, sweet corn, pole beans, watermelon, pumpkin, celebrity tomatoes, beefsteak tomatoes, parsley, basil, and oregano. Each week we take a picture of our garden after we are done weeding and plating, and it has been really fun to go back through them and see how things are growing. So far, at least as of last week, the only things we have showing right now are the potatoes, carrots, onions, horseradish, bush beans, cucumbers, squash, zucchini, sunflowers, and corn, and they all seemed to kind of pop right out of the ground at the same time, except for the potatoes.
At first we were worried about the drive up there each week, but it has turned out to be such a nice drive where James and I can (and have) talked about all sorts of things, though the majority of our conversation revolves around what new plants might be poking out of the ground this week. We aren't sure how well our cauliflower is doing. We planted it a few weeks ago and it doesn't seem to be doing anything. It may have been planted too late in the season and just won't grow now, so if the cauliflower isn't showing this week then we're certain it's just not going to grow. We'll till the ground and then plant some herbs and flowers there. We also have an herb garden starting to grow on our deck. We planted parsley, sage, rosemary, thyme, and basil last Saturday and just this morning we found thyme seedlings coming up. James was so excited. I was, too.
I know you're probably thinking that we are growing a ton of stuff, but we are sharing it with our families too. We are going to be canning a lot of the food, and then feasting on some of it during the summer. When the fruit and vegetables start growing then we'll probably need to go out to the farm two times a week, but it'll definitely be worth it. I can't wait to taste our first vegetable or fruit from the garden. I bet it's going to taste delicious. :)
In May, James' sister Cheryl got married and we had a fun and family-filled weekend helping and participating in that. It was so awesome to be around James' family again, especially the ones who are from out of town and we don't get to see as often. Of course it was a beautiful wedding, and we all had a great time.
Then it was my birthday, which was pretty much uneventful because I had a vicious migraine that day, but James made me a cake the next day and took me out to lunch and a movie. We went to Ruby Tuesday's and watched Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. It wasn't the best one of the four, but it was fun to see a movie in the theater again. We haven't been in so long.
Then we had to get ready for James' last term for his second Bachelor's degree. We are so excited for this and have been working hard at updating his online portfolio and applying for jobs within his field.
And along the way, we have been working hard at the garden. What? I didn't tell you about our garden? Well! Let me tell you. Uh, James and I have a garden. :)
Seriously, though, James and I have had the fortunate blessing to use some farm land up north to plant a garden. Our church has a welfare farm that they open a part of it up to some of the members to plant and grow a garden if they like. The farm fertilizers the land and waters each week, and we just have to plant our seeds and take care of the rows we are given. We went to an informational meeting about it in early April and began planning from there. And I must say, it has been so stinking fun! The farm is about an hour away and we go up every Saturday morning and see what new items are growing. We have three rows that are 15" wide each and 60' long each, so we have about a 4' x 180' square foot piece of land that we are using for the growing season.
James and I have had a blast figuring out what to plant, purchasing the seeds, and working hard in our garden to get rid of weeds. My brother Jake is using part of our section to grow some of his own vegetables and he has planted sweet corn, carrots, broccoli, cucumbers, and cherry tomatoes. We have the rest of the area and we have planted potatoes, horseradish, carrots, onions, bush beans, sunflowers, big boy tomatoes, cauliflower, bell peppers, squash, zucchini, pickling cucumbers, sweet corn, pole beans, watermelon, pumpkin, celebrity tomatoes, beefsteak tomatoes, parsley, basil, and oregano. Each week we take a picture of our garden after we are done weeding and plating, and it has been really fun to go back through them and see how things are growing. So far, at least as of last week, the only things we have showing right now are the potatoes, carrots, onions, horseradish, bush beans, cucumbers, squash, zucchini, sunflowers, and corn, and they all seemed to kind of pop right out of the ground at the same time, except for the potatoes.
At first we were worried about the drive up there each week, but it has turned out to be such a nice drive where James and I can (and have) talked about all sorts of things, though the majority of our conversation revolves around what new plants might be poking out of the ground this week. We aren't sure how well our cauliflower is doing. We planted it a few weeks ago and it doesn't seem to be doing anything. It may have been planted too late in the season and just won't grow now, so if the cauliflower isn't showing this week then we're certain it's just not going to grow. We'll till the ground and then plant some herbs and flowers there. We also have an herb garden starting to grow on our deck. We planted parsley, sage, rosemary, thyme, and basil last Saturday and just this morning we found thyme seedlings coming up. James was so excited. I was, too.
I know you're probably thinking that we are growing a ton of stuff, but we are sharing it with our families too. We are going to be canning a lot of the food, and then feasting on some of it during the summer. When the fruit and vegetables start growing then we'll probably need to go out to the farm two times a week, but it'll definitely be worth it. I can't wait to taste our first vegetable or fruit from the garden. I bet it's going to taste delicious. :)
Thursday, April 14
An Anniversary Of Sorts
It's so strange for me to sit here and remember that two years ago today I had surgery to remove a cancerous piece of my body. Two years. Has it really been that long? Sometimes it feels like it happened just yesterday. When you go through something life changing it feels like it will never end; like each new day is just another reminder of how different your world has become. Yet, when you get a distance away and you find yourself in a spot where things are calm enough for you to look back, you begin to see the blessings and the lessons learned. And you are grateful, and sad, and hopeful, and encouraged, and pensive. But most of all you are grateful.
There are so many things that I have learned from this experience. I learned that everyone heals differently, even if they go through the same thing. I've learned you shouldn't second guess your own feelings. I've learned that sometimes the answer to something you've been praying for over and over again will still be "no" if it's not what the Lord wants. And I've learned to be OK with that. I've learned (most recently...this one took a while) that the atonement of Jesus Christ makes it possible for us to have perfect bodies one day, and that makes going through health troubles, at least for me, so much easier to endure. I've also learned of the love and concern from friends and family members that have touched my heart so deeply I feared it would burst. And last night, I learned that if I had to go through this same experience all over again for whatever reason, I would. It isn't because I enjoy the pain and suffering, the heartache, the fears and concerns, the soul wrenching sadness, and desperate hope to be healed and whole again. No. It's because I know every experience I go through is for my own good, and that I can do anything I need to either by myself, with the Lord's help, or with the help of someone else. God never gives us anything we can't do. I know this.
Most of you might be asking if everything is better now that it's been two years. The answer to that is yes and no. About a month and a half ago I started feeling really good. I had energy and I wasn't in pain all the time. I felt able to function and ready to do things. Fortunately that has continued to last and I have had an extremely good month and a half, for which I am so unbelievably thankful. That's the yes part. I think things are starting to settle down as far as my general well-being is concerned.
The no part gets a bit more complicated. I am still having muscle problems in my legs and lower back, and have most recently noticed problems in my shoulders now too. I don't know what it is, but I am trying to figure it out. As a result I am still not able to stand or walk for longer than a few minutes at a time. This has proven both extremely frustrating, and an extreme test of my patience, but I know that this will be figured out in its own due time and I really try hard not to think about it so much or else I will become extremely depressed. I also still have issues with speaking that limit how much I can talk and for how long. The same thing goes for singing. On Sunday I was able to sing all four versus of the opening hymn at church. Of course it was the alto part, and I was so happy that I did it. However, I could only sing half of the rest hymn, and I couldn't sing any of the closing hymn. Singing is something I'm still trying to figure out. Before the surgery I used to be able to sing alto and soprano. Now I sing tenor and alto, but sometimes the alto part is too high. I'm not worried about it anymore, though. It will come back when it wants to and for now, well, let's just say I'm convinced that I am well on my way to becoming a famous whistling champion. :)
The cancer is still there somewhere, though it is quite shy since none of the scanning tests can seem to find it, though the blood tests pick it up with no problem at all. For now, I am breathing a sigh of relief that all is mostly well, and I am hopeful that one day it will be better. I know it is now, two years to the day later, but I guess it just took me a little longer to get here. I'm just so happy to be here. Happy anniversary (of sorts) to me!!
There are so many things that I have learned from this experience. I learned that everyone heals differently, even if they go through the same thing. I've learned you shouldn't second guess your own feelings. I've learned that sometimes the answer to something you've been praying for over and over again will still be "no" if it's not what the Lord wants. And I've learned to be OK with that. I've learned (most recently...this one took a while) that the atonement of Jesus Christ makes it possible for us to have perfect bodies one day, and that makes going through health troubles, at least for me, so much easier to endure. I've also learned of the love and concern from friends and family members that have touched my heart so deeply I feared it would burst. And last night, I learned that if I had to go through this same experience all over again for whatever reason, I would. It isn't because I enjoy the pain and suffering, the heartache, the fears and concerns, the soul wrenching sadness, and desperate hope to be healed and whole again. No. It's because I know every experience I go through is for my own good, and that I can do anything I need to either by myself, with the Lord's help, or with the help of someone else. God never gives us anything we can't do. I know this.
Most of you might be asking if everything is better now that it's been two years. The answer to that is yes and no. About a month and a half ago I started feeling really good. I had energy and I wasn't in pain all the time. I felt able to function and ready to do things. Fortunately that has continued to last and I have had an extremely good month and a half, for which I am so unbelievably thankful. That's the yes part. I think things are starting to settle down as far as my general well-being is concerned.
The no part gets a bit more complicated. I am still having muscle problems in my legs and lower back, and have most recently noticed problems in my shoulders now too. I don't know what it is, but I am trying to figure it out. As a result I am still not able to stand or walk for longer than a few minutes at a time. This has proven both extremely frustrating, and an extreme test of my patience, but I know that this will be figured out in its own due time and I really try hard not to think about it so much or else I will become extremely depressed. I also still have issues with speaking that limit how much I can talk and for how long. The same thing goes for singing. On Sunday I was able to sing all four versus of the opening hymn at church. Of course it was the alto part, and I was so happy that I did it. However, I could only sing half of the rest hymn, and I couldn't sing any of the closing hymn. Singing is something I'm still trying to figure out. Before the surgery I used to be able to sing alto and soprano. Now I sing tenor and alto, but sometimes the alto part is too high. I'm not worried about it anymore, though. It will come back when it wants to and for now, well, let's just say I'm convinced that I am well on my way to becoming a famous whistling champion. :)
The cancer is still there somewhere, though it is quite shy since none of the scanning tests can seem to find it, though the blood tests pick it up with no problem at all. For now, I am breathing a sigh of relief that all is mostly well, and I am hopeful that one day it will be better. I know it is now, two years to the day later, but I guess it just took me a little longer to get here. I'm just so happy to be here. Happy anniversary (of sorts) to me!!
Thursday, March 24
Update
I went to the dentist yesterday and was told that some cement that was used to place my temporary crown had not been cleaned off so that was why my gums and tongue and mouth hurt so bad. The assistant cleaned out the cement and got some pretty big pieces out of there. Then she filed down the edges of the temporary crown so it wouldn't rub against my tongue anymore. I think I was there for all about ten minutes, but the relief was almost immediate. The swelling has gone down 90% and my mouth and ear doesn't hurt anymore. There is a blister on the back of my tongue where it was rubbing on the crown, but now that will be able to heal. I feel so much better now. I told her she was "a miracle worker amongst dental people". I don't know what exactly I was saying other than THANK YOU!! Such relief!
Tuesday, March 22
My Recent Adventure
I've been quite busy these past few weeks. I've had a lot of things to do, and a good amount of energy in which to do them, thankfully. A little while ago I broke my tooth whilst sampling the new Fiesta Starbursts. They were yummy. While we were trying them I bit down on one and heard this very faint click. I pulled out the Starburst to find a perfectly preserved portion of my tooth embedded right in the Starburst. The good thing is that I had a root canal done on the tooth over 18 years ago, so there wasn't any pain. The bad news was that I was going to have to go to the dentist and get it repaired. I don't do so well with dentists.
So, I went and had a dentist look at it and he said that he could save the tooth, but that it definitely needed to have a crown put on it. I went in on Thursday of last week to have my tooth prepped for the crown. They told me it would be about an hour and a half in the chair. I was there for two and a half hours. I don't know if it was because they were busy or because my tooth was pretty bad. They pulled out the old filling, cleaned out the decay that was in there, refilled it with a new filling, and then fit me for a temporary crown. I had a few shots of the numbing liquid so I wouldn't feel anything, but then about half way through the procedure I needed to get another shot since I could start to feel things a little. I told him I didn't need it, but he said that he had to do it. Bummer. I think the shots are the worst part.
After I left the office I was shaking all over, like I was really cold deep down and just couldn't get warm. That lasted for a couple of days and I really think it was just my body trying to defend itself from the terror that was the dentists office. The dentist and the assistants were extremely nice and I felt very comfortable around them. I just don't like people poking around in my mouth with sharp objects and painful procedures that I know are going to hurt later. And on top of that I've noticed lately that it takes me almost twice as long to recover from things that would normally take less. That's actually something new I've noticed this year.
Anyway, my mouth hurt pretty bad once I got home and it became especially painful for me to talk or swallow or move my mouth at all, so I ended up taking Tylenol a couple of times that evening and calling it a day. The next day I took some when I woke up, but the pain seemed significantly better, so I thought things were healing nicely. However, a couple of days after my appointment my mouth hurt really bad and I tried to pinpoint exactly where it was coming from. Was it the tooth? Was it my cheek? Was it the gums or my tongue? Where? I figured out that I had a blister under my tongue where the suction tube was resting for lengthy periods of time while they worked on my tooth. I figured that would just take time to go away, but the outside edge of my tongue was extremely sensitive and the gums along my tooth line next to my cheek were really swollen. I thought maybe it was a delayed reaction to the work on my tooth so I took some more Tylenol and just tried to rest my mouth to see if that made it better.
Let's just skip forward to today where I am putting Oral Gel on my gums and cheek and tongue every four hours and trying not to move my mouth at all. It is so painful, and so swollen, and now the gums, tongue, and cheek all have little white spots on them around that area, and my right ear hurts as well. I don't know if the white spots are little blisters or infection or something, but I called my dentist's office today to ask him about it. I normally would try and give it some more time, but the swelling has spread to the whole lower half of my jaw and is starting to affect my bottom front teeth. Not only that, but it is still incredibly painful. I haven't eaten on that side of my mouth since I first broke my tooth, I brush my teeth every day and rinse with the Crest Pro Health rinse. I drink water to keep my mouth hydrated, and I am really trying to create a healing environment in my mouth. The blister under my tongue is getting better, but this other stuff just keeps getting worse. The secretary at the dentists office said it was something she wanted me to come in and have the dentist look at, but he wasn't in the office today so I have an appointment tomorrow at noon. I hope it's nothing serious, though I don't think I would be surprised if it turned out to be. That's just the way things are going for me, so I'm not going to freak myself out or worry about it until I know. I really don't think it's a root canal since I already had that done on my tooth, and it doesn't hurt like pain from a nerve. It's this swelling and irritation and white spots and ear pain that have me concerned. We'll see tomorrow. I hate the thought of going back in, but something must be done to relieve this swelling and irritation.
So, I went and had a dentist look at it and he said that he could save the tooth, but that it definitely needed to have a crown put on it. I went in on Thursday of last week to have my tooth prepped for the crown. They told me it would be about an hour and a half in the chair. I was there for two and a half hours. I don't know if it was because they were busy or because my tooth was pretty bad. They pulled out the old filling, cleaned out the decay that was in there, refilled it with a new filling, and then fit me for a temporary crown. I had a few shots of the numbing liquid so I wouldn't feel anything, but then about half way through the procedure I needed to get another shot since I could start to feel things a little. I told him I didn't need it, but he said that he had to do it. Bummer. I think the shots are the worst part.
After I left the office I was shaking all over, like I was really cold deep down and just couldn't get warm. That lasted for a couple of days and I really think it was just my body trying to defend itself from the terror that was the dentists office. The dentist and the assistants were extremely nice and I felt very comfortable around them. I just don't like people poking around in my mouth with sharp objects and painful procedures that I know are going to hurt later. And on top of that I've noticed lately that it takes me almost twice as long to recover from things that would normally take less. That's actually something new I've noticed this year.
Anyway, my mouth hurt pretty bad once I got home and it became especially painful for me to talk or swallow or move my mouth at all, so I ended up taking Tylenol a couple of times that evening and calling it a day. The next day I took some when I woke up, but the pain seemed significantly better, so I thought things were healing nicely. However, a couple of days after my appointment my mouth hurt really bad and I tried to pinpoint exactly where it was coming from. Was it the tooth? Was it my cheek? Was it the gums or my tongue? Where? I figured out that I had a blister under my tongue where the suction tube was resting for lengthy periods of time while they worked on my tooth. I figured that would just take time to go away, but the outside edge of my tongue was extremely sensitive and the gums along my tooth line next to my cheek were really swollen. I thought maybe it was a delayed reaction to the work on my tooth so I took some more Tylenol and just tried to rest my mouth to see if that made it better.
Let's just skip forward to today where I am putting Oral Gel on my gums and cheek and tongue every four hours and trying not to move my mouth at all. It is so painful, and so swollen, and now the gums, tongue, and cheek all have little white spots on them around that area, and my right ear hurts as well. I don't know if the white spots are little blisters or infection or something, but I called my dentist's office today to ask him about it. I normally would try and give it some more time, but the swelling has spread to the whole lower half of my jaw and is starting to affect my bottom front teeth. Not only that, but it is still incredibly painful. I haven't eaten on that side of my mouth since I first broke my tooth, I brush my teeth every day and rinse with the Crest Pro Health rinse. I drink water to keep my mouth hydrated, and I am really trying to create a healing environment in my mouth. The blister under my tongue is getting better, but this other stuff just keeps getting worse. The secretary at the dentists office said it was something she wanted me to come in and have the dentist look at, but he wasn't in the office today so I have an appointment tomorrow at noon. I hope it's nothing serious, though I don't think I would be surprised if it turned out to be. That's just the way things are going for me, so I'm not going to freak myself out or worry about it until I know. I really don't think it's a root canal since I already had that done on my tooth, and it doesn't hurt like pain from a nerve. It's this swelling and irritation and white spots and ear pain that have me concerned. We'll see tomorrow. I hate the thought of going back in, but something must be done to relieve this swelling and irritation.
Thursday, March 10
Driving
Today I had to take an unexpected trip to Boulder, Colorado. Have you ever been there? Some of you have, but others may not have. I personally do not like Boulder. It is incredibly difficult to get anywhere, to park anywhere, or to find anything...at least for me it is. They have cross walks in the middle of the road that flash when someone is crossing the street, and then 25 feet further down the road they have a stoplight. Why people can't cross the street at the stoplight is beyond me. I think I stopped five separate times for people to cross the street and another five times a few seconds after those at stoplights. The word that comes to my mind is "excessive".
Driving through Boulder gave me plenty of time to think and people watch. There are so many people in Boulder, and the variety of people is so broad that you never know quite what to expect. I saw a homeless man on the corner of one of the main streets who looked tired, holding up a used cardboard sign, and appeared to have been wearing the same clothes for days. My heart always goes out to homeless people. If we all only knew how close to being homeless each of us were than maybe we wouldn't look down on them in disgust, or try to ignore them while we are waiting for the light to change. Believe me, I am not preaching by any means. I do my best to help the homeless in my own way, I'm just trying to get us thinking about how we treat those less fortunate than us. At any rate, this homeless man saw a car that was broken down, and he didn't hesitate to run over and help the driver push his car to the side of the road. Before the light changed and I drove away I saw him signal for the guy to pop the hood so he could take a look at the engine.
I saw another lady saunter across the road while at a stoplight. That's something else I noticed about Boulder. There aren't a lot of people in a hurry. Pedestrians know they have the right away and they are confident that nothing will happen to them. This lady was wearing a long sleeved sweater with the shortest running shorts I have ever seen. She had on a backpack with a ragged stuffed animal on the end of a small key chain attached to the side. It looked like it had seen better days, but I wondered how many memories she associated with that little animal. She had on a pair of running shoes and another pair tied to the backpack. She looked like she had all the time in the world as she causally made her way across the street.
Two blocks further I reached the business district where suits and ties were almost required attire. Men with blue shirts and white cuffs, red ties and black slacks casually conversed while walking to or from a building. Women in knee length skirts, pastel blouses and high heels happily chatted away with each other, and I stopped for all of them. In the middle of all the business people was a little family with two strollers and wearing sweats. It looked like they were coming from the park right across the street. I couldn't see any children but I could tell by the way they protected the strollers that they contained precious cargo. The woman looked tired, but happy; the man the same.
It was almost overload for me. I had to constantly keep my eye out for people and make sure I stopped at the cross walks when the light flashed. I had to constantly check for cars to make sure I didn't hit anyone and no one hit me, and I had to make sure I was in the right lane so I wouldn't miss my turns and have to travel back through the streets before I could catch the one I wanted again. Like I said before, it's not very easy getting around Boulder...at least not for me. I had music on in the car that I hadn't heard in such a long time and brought back so many memories. I wanted to sing along with it, but I didn't dare give it my full attention. I tried to sing a little, but I decided it was best for me to be the silent observer. I noticed that I was tense as I drove through the city, which is kind of unlike me. Driving relaxes me and calms me down. Once I hit the highway out of Boulder, though, I began to loosen my grip on the steering wheel and relax more.
I enjoy people watching, both in and out of the car, and it was a little trip that took me out of my own little world and helped me to peek into another. I wasn't in Boulder for very long, less than an hour really, but it was interesting what I saw and what I noticed while driving.
Driving through Boulder gave me plenty of time to think and people watch. There are so many people in Boulder, and the variety of people is so broad that you never know quite what to expect. I saw a homeless man on the corner of one of the main streets who looked tired, holding up a used cardboard sign, and appeared to have been wearing the same clothes for days. My heart always goes out to homeless people. If we all only knew how close to being homeless each of us were than maybe we wouldn't look down on them in disgust, or try to ignore them while we are waiting for the light to change. Believe me, I am not preaching by any means. I do my best to help the homeless in my own way, I'm just trying to get us thinking about how we treat those less fortunate than us. At any rate, this homeless man saw a car that was broken down, and he didn't hesitate to run over and help the driver push his car to the side of the road. Before the light changed and I drove away I saw him signal for the guy to pop the hood so he could take a look at the engine.
I saw another lady saunter across the road while at a stoplight. That's something else I noticed about Boulder. There aren't a lot of people in a hurry. Pedestrians know they have the right away and they are confident that nothing will happen to them. This lady was wearing a long sleeved sweater with the shortest running shorts I have ever seen. She had on a backpack with a ragged stuffed animal on the end of a small key chain attached to the side. It looked like it had seen better days, but I wondered how many memories she associated with that little animal. She had on a pair of running shoes and another pair tied to the backpack. She looked like she had all the time in the world as she causally made her way across the street.
Two blocks further I reached the business district where suits and ties were almost required attire. Men with blue shirts and white cuffs, red ties and black slacks casually conversed while walking to or from a building. Women in knee length skirts, pastel blouses and high heels happily chatted away with each other, and I stopped for all of them. In the middle of all the business people was a little family with two strollers and wearing sweats. It looked like they were coming from the park right across the street. I couldn't see any children but I could tell by the way they protected the strollers that they contained precious cargo. The woman looked tired, but happy; the man the same.
It was almost overload for me. I had to constantly keep my eye out for people and make sure I stopped at the cross walks when the light flashed. I had to constantly check for cars to make sure I didn't hit anyone and no one hit me, and I had to make sure I was in the right lane so I wouldn't miss my turns and have to travel back through the streets before I could catch the one I wanted again. Like I said before, it's not very easy getting around Boulder...at least not for me. I had music on in the car that I hadn't heard in such a long time and brought back so many memories. I wanted to sing along with it, but I didn't dare give it my full attention. I tried to sing a little, but I decided it was best for me to be the silent observer. I noticed that I was tense as I drove through the city, which is kind of unlike me. Driving relaxes me and calms me down. Once I hit the highway out of Boulder, though, I began to loosen my grip on the steering wheel and relax more.
I enjoy people watching, both in and out of the car, and it was a little trip that took me out of my own little world and helped me to peek into another. I wasn't in Boulder for very long, less than an hour really, but it was interesting what I saw and what I noticed while driving.
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