The Adventures of Lil' Pig!!

My friend Gina made a wonderfully cute pig for me to keep me company during my surgery. Lil' Pig is her name, and adventure is her game. It seems every time I turn around she is into something, but one look from those big green eyes just melts my heart! Here are some of her most recent adventures.

Here she is playing hide and seek in the flowers. She loves to nestle between the petals and pop out when you least expect it. Last night James was painting at the table when she decided to scare him. It was funny!

This morning she decided to watch her favorite show while I was getting my breakfast. I didn't even know she knew how to turn on the TV!

Sometimes she likes to climb up on the windowsill and wait for James to come home. She always looks so peaceful and content. I often wonder what is going on in that little brain of hers. I couldn't resist taking a picture of her. She just looks so cute!

Thanks again, Gina, for giving me Lil' Pig! She is so fun!

And now for the real story

Today is Sunday; a day of new beginnings; a day for refreshment and reviving the soul. It's funny to think of this past week and how much has gone on and then to sit back and look at it now and realize how quickly it has gone. I have officially lost 15 pounds (weighed myself this morning) on the "surgery diet". Anyone who has been on this diet can certainly attest to the quickness of this specific plan, although I truly do not recommend it unless absolutely necessary and even then I would seriously think of alternatives. I'm gathering more strength, but I have noticed how my neck just is not quit ready to support my head yet, my vocal chords still do not work properly, and my eyes have a tendency to just give up all together and shut at random times throughout the day (and I'm not talking about falling asleep - they just decide they have looked at enough things and their job is over. It's kind of funny, actually.) 

I have been able to sleep somewhat, though not as successfully as last night. The first night back home from the hospital I tried to sleep on the bed, but it was too difficult for me, so I ended up sleeping on the reclining chair next to my bed for a bit before crawling over to the couch and getting touch and go sleep that night. The next day was more of the same, though I was able to eat a somewhat normal diet. Thursday night I didn't even try to sleep in the bed as it was just too cumbersome, so it was another night spent out on the couch. 

Friday was a very bad day. I was so nauseous I couldn't even drink anything, though I really tried to. My mother-in-law came and spent the day with me as James had to go to work. She is an amazing woman. She is so selfless, so giving, so kind, and willing to help out with anything. I've felt humble in my life before, but this surgery has brought out the humility in me ten fold, and I must say I have never felt so much love and gratitude for people since my surgery. My mother-in-law cleaned my house. She scrubbed my bathroom, vacuumed my floors, cleaned my kitchen, and hand mopped my floors on her hands and knees. That woman selflessly gave of her time and talents to help someone like me and didn't even think twice about it. She is amazing. I spent the whole day in bed begging the good Lord above to take away the nausea. It was a really long day.

Saturday my mom and little brother Zack spent the day with me since James had to go into work then too. It was extremely wonderful. I was still slightly nauseated but I forced myself to eat some toast and drink some Sprite. James' family is wonderful for so many different reasons. One of my especially favorite wonderful things about his family is that his sister is an operating room nurse, and his brother is an anesthesiologist. We have called them both on several instances to seek advice and ask questions about certain health related questions, and they have always been so helpful. James' mom spoke to his brother on Friday night because she was so concerned about me and truly...it was really bad. He said I really needed to force myself to eat or it would get worse, so I did. My mom brought over gatorade and fruit and soup and then she spent the whole day with me just sitting on the couch, refilling my ice pack as needed, and watching TV with me and my little brother. It was so cozy! The house was dark and cool, it was raining outside, and we were all snuggled up watching good movies. I started drinking the gatorade and was feeling much better. I even had soup for lunch...a whole bowl!! It was very exciting.

Now today I have done nothing but rest. I think I'm about sick of watching TV, and feel I am ready to turn my sights toward nintendo! Ye-haw! I know this was lengthy so thanks for sticking it through. I also wanted to say thank you to everyone for the food, the flowers, the well wishes, the thoughts, the prayers, the company, and the phone calls. You are all amazing!! I'll post more tomorrow after we get back from the doctor so I can keep everyone up to date on what the latest plan of attack is. Have a good night!

I am alive and at home

What an adventure these past couple of days have been. I do not have much strength, so this post will be short and quick. The operation went well, and I handled it nicely. They had to make a longer incision than what they originally expected, and that was because the first thing they saw was a cancerous lymph node right in the front of my neck. The doctor called in a pathologist right then and there to check it and he said it was cancerous and to take it out along with my thyroid and several other lymph nodes. The first question pretty much everyone asked was if I was going to need chemotherapy and the doctor said no, but I will have to take the radioactive iodine. I just don't know when yet. He also said my thyroid was really bad and had been like that for a long time now and it was good they were able to get it out now because if we would have waited much longer I would have had some serious problems. So now I kind of look like a really bad version of Frankenstein's bride complete with scar. Sweet.

They released me from the hospital around 7:30 pm Wednesday night. I was so glad to be home and sleep on my bed with my pillows and my blankets, although you would not believe how freakin' sore my entire body is. I'm only taking two Tylenol as needed so my pain is really low. My neck feels weird though...like it is missing something and it doesn't quite know how to adjust to that. Gina, you'll know what I'm talking about and now I know what you were talking about before as well. :) It's just a very weird feeling. That's about all I can do to explain it right now.

I am slowly recovering. I don't have much intonation or inflection in my voice and that makes me laugh which kind of hurts. Let's see if I can give a better explanation of that. Think back to a time when I was telling you a really funny story, or explaining something with a lot of emotion. Remember all my inflections, emotions, and facial expressions? Well, now think about a monotone robot telling the same exact story. That's me right now. No matter how hard I try I cannot make my voice any different than monotone. :) It really does sound funny to hear me try. All in good time, though. I know it will come back.

I have bruises all over my arms from the IV they tried to get into two different places. One spot barely has a bruise, but another spot looks like someone smashed a dark purple eggplant all over me. I try not to look at it too much, and I will be posting pictures when I have more strength. I have three bruises on my other arm as well and that's from where they had to take my blood to monitor my calcium levels. Ok. that's all the strength I have. Check back soon for updates.

Only two days left

And the wait is on...only two days left before the big "O". No, I'm not talking about the season finale of Oprah, I'm talking about the big operation. I'm calm, yet worried, relaxed, yet anxious, organized, yet dishevelled. It's been interesting to realize how close the big "O" really is. I remember about five minutes ago when it was mid-February and I was thinking how long it would be until the surgery, and how much time I had. Now, all the sudden, it's all up in my business and smacking me in the face. I guess that's how these things happen. I'm most anxious for the healing part. There really isn't much to think about in the way of the actual surgery since I will be completely out for that part. I'll close my eyes in the operating room and a minute later open them up in the recovery room. Ah, the marvels of modern medicine! My thoughts have been plagued with simple, yet important, questions such as can I listen to music during the surgery so I am not panicked in case I wake up? Or, will they tape the surgery so I can watch it later just to see how it's done? (I know most of you are putting on your "ew! Gross!" faces, but I truly do want to see how the operation is done. It's not every day they take a piece out of you that you don't see. I want to see it!). And the most important one, will I have my own room for staying overnight? These are the important questions, people!! I already know about the other stuff, now I want the answers to the good stuff.

On another note, I have been having computer troubles recently. The fan has been spouting out these horribly annoying sounds that seem to increase with each moment spent on the computer. James and I have had a wonderful time opening and closing the lid, taking parts out, calling my dad for help, and generally trying to jimmy-rig the darn thing so it doesn't drive me MAD! We've got the fan to stop making noises, but today the sound stopped working. I pulled a sound card out of my old computer and placed it in the new computer. We thought that would work, but the computer wouldn't recognize the blasted thing because I didn't have the installation CD that came with the sound card. I bought the thing a few years ago and wasn't even sure I still had the CD. So I had to dig through a box of all my old CD cases (everything has been ripped to my computer - now you know the kind of drama I am having!! This is huge!) and emerged successful with the installation CD firmly gripped in my hand. I put that bad boy in and the sound card was successfully installed. I restarted my computer, for good measure, and held my breath as I waited for the infamous logon music Microsoft has so graciously added to their start-up process. However, after realizing I couldn't hold my breath that long, I exhaled but did not find any relief. The sound is no more. I don't know what else to do. I think this is the day the music has died in my house. This can only be bad. Maybe it's a premonition of things to come...maybe I won't be able to sing when I get back from the big "O" and my computer is just trying to prepare me for the inevitable breakdown I will have once my mind fully understands what happened!!

Wow, I need to get some sleep. I'm getting too wrapped up in this. Hopefully a good nights rest for both me and my computer will set things right again in the morning......I hope!!

Just catching up

So most of you know that I have a cast on my leg which I have had for a couple of weeks now. The cast if from tendinitis on the outside of my foot. Yesterday I went to go have it taken off and it was some seriously sweet relief...albeit short lived. It seemed that as soon as they took it off they slapped another right back on. Why, you ask? Well, the doctor tells me it still isn't fully healed so we need to keep it in a cast (a new one) for another two weeks and then all should be well. I was moving my foot around and thinking I must be in heaven. I think we take advantage of our moving parts, and then when we can't move them normally for a while we forget how great it feels! I was hoping I wouldn't have to have the cast on again, but I want to do what is best for my foot and I am honestly trying to take the best care of it that I can. One of my goals this year was to get healthy. Not saying that I wasn't healthy before, but I wasn't where I wanted to be and I wasn't comfortable in my own skin any longer. I had no idea my path to being healthy would turn out like this, but I know things will get better. It is quite cumbersome to have to hobble around in this thing, but I know it's short lived. I can manage I suppose. Although I am thinking I might let James draw a cool picture on it or something. Maybe I will let the ladies at work (and apparently the ladies at church now too) whip out their sharpies and leave me little messages of love...or hate. Whichever. Hmm, I'll have to ponder over that a little more. On a side note today was the first day since I got the cast on that I was able to use the "handicap" stall in the restroom. I know, a little more information than any one of you would have preferred to know, but I just think it's funny considering the stall was always open before and I never had any issues with it! I'm just sayin! ;) I get to have the cast taken off in two weeks, which is the same day I go for all my pre-op stuff. As my friend Gina would say "BOO!!". I agree!

A String of Bad Luck?

I had someone tell me the other day that I was having a string of bad luck. First it was my thyroid cancer, then it was the tendonitis in my leg which has resulted in an honest-to-goodness real fiberglass cast for two weeks, then it was having an entire route 44 cherry limeade (a big drink for those of you who have never had one from Sonic before)spill all down the drivers side of the car, and finally it was my car door lock busting to where I can't lock or unlock the door from the outside on the passenger side of my car. I don't know if it really is bad luck. I don't feel like I am having a tough time or like everything is piling up on me. I just feel like it is what it is. Would it be nice to be able to bend my ankle and walk normally like everyone else? Absolutely! But I can't do that right now so why be all down in the dumps about it? I am getting by. I have had tremendous help and support not only from my husband and family, but also from my amazing coworkers who truly make me feel so good about myself and willingly help me with even the simplest of tasks. I just love those ladies! Anyway, I'll try to take some pictures of the cast so you can all laugh right along with me on the craziness that is my life recently. :) I'll post them when I can.

It's scheduled

Hello my friends! Alright, let's just get right down to it, shall we? The surgery is scheduled for April 14th. Both James and I feel good about the surgeon, the date, and the whole process. Ok, so that's that.

Right now I am listening to Bonnie Raitt sing "Have a Heart". I just love the bluesy, soulful sound of this song! One of my most favorite parts is at the very beginning where she says "Hey! Shut up!" It cracks me up every time. It's a good song that everyone should listen to. Just close your eyes and feel the music. Let it work its way up through your heart and mind. My head isn't hurting, my asthma is playing nice today, and my mind is at peace so of course I've got the music up loud and I am singing at the top of my lungs. Today it is Bonnie Raitt. She's good; she has a lot of feeling in her songs. I like days like this. Days where I can feel relaxed, comfortable, and appreciate of the music others have made. 

I was told that the surgery has a risk of damaging the muscles and nerves in my throat around my vocal chords. This could result in a hoarse voice for the rest of my life. As a definite supporter of talking (most of you know that I can take my fair share, and then some, of any conversation...including those I have with myself! This girl can talk!) this can be a little concerning. However, as an avid singer (and most of you know how much I love to sing!) this causes some anxiety for me. I asked if it happened to me would I be able to sing again. The surgeon said that most people notice their pitch is off. I think my eyes bulged out of my head, my mouth dropped open, and I said (probably a little too loudly) "You mean I'm going to be off key?!?!" James just smiled. I can live with not being able to talk again for the rest of my life, but not being able to sing? Well, that's just out of the question! He did say there was a 75% recovery rate with practice and the such. At least that's something. I just don't know what it would be like to not be able to sing. That is a very big part of my life. Sometimes I think that is the one thing I am good at; that's my one talent. I don't want to lose it, because then what else would I be good at? I guess I could always brag about my Excel skills (CONCATENATE!! again, dk, for you), or talk up my mad merging skills at Word. But somehow it's just not the same. I can picture myself at some party where I'm introduced to someone new: "Crystal, let me introduce you to the group. This is Bob, he's a real estate guru. This here's Carol. She's a fashion diva. And over here we have Leslie. She's an artist. Everyone, this is Crystal. She can mail merge."

Nice.

Anyway, I'll more than likely be doing a lot more singing, humming, and whistling here over the next six to eight weeks. Consider yourself warned. Yes, I will take requests (for both songs you want to hear, and those you don't). No, I don't do rap. And yes, feel free to introduce me to some of your favorite songs/groups/people. I am always interested in expanding my music library - both in my mp3 player and in my mind. :) Thanks!