Thursday, October 2
Testing out the FEEDS
Alright, well, I had to update a bunch of stuff to make the FEED show. I think I have it down now. So, subscribe to the FEED and you'll be able to tell exactly when I put up a new post instead of checking in every few days. I know checking my blog every couple of days can be a little tough for some of you, but it gives you a chance to admire my awesome background. I'm just saying! Now you shouldn't have to do that, provided you sign up for the FEED correctly. Good luck!
Tuesday, September 23
FINALLY!!!
So I turned in my last paper on Monday night and now I can say that I have completed my classes to get my Bachelor's degree!!
As a graduation present, James is going to get me a bicycle!! This is thanks due in no small part to our good friends Brian and Shalee Fries. They got new bikes about a month ago and talked about it a few weeks before that. Since then I have told James that I really want to get a bike to start riding around town with him, and all the fun things that come from owning a bike. He has walked into the study numerous times only to find me staring intently at the computer screen looking at lots of pictures of bikes. I haven't quite settled on which one I want. It might be one of these three:
FINALLY!!
As a graduation present, James is going to get me a bicycle!! This is thanks due in no small part to our good friends Brian and Shalee Fries. They got new bikes about a month ago and talked about it a few weeks before that. Since then I have told James that I really want to get a bike to start riding around town with him, and all the fun things that come from owning a bike. He has walked into the study numerous times only to find me staring intently at the computer screen looking at lots of pictures of bikes. I haven't quite settled on which one I want. It might be one of these three:
The first one is a Giant Women's Sedona, the second is a Titan Pathfinder, and the third is the Women's Trek 820. Like I said, I'm not sure which one I want yet, but when I get it I will be sure to take some pictures of it and post it up here.
Which one do you think I should get?
Wednesday, September 17
Grateful
I don't remember much about my childhood, and those things I do remember are either funny, or somewhat trivial...at least in my opinion. I grew up in Southern California, in the high desert and my memories of that place are as real as if they happened yesterday. Here are a few of them:
I remember when my parents would turn on the swamp cooler in our house and my brothers and I would close all the doors in the hallway and lie under the cold air with blankets while we talked about everything for hours.
I remember another time when my brothers and I, apparently for lack of something to do, would sit in their room and make ourselves laugh until it reached a point where we were all laughing so hard we were crying, but we had nothing specific to laugh about.
I remember when my sister and I thought it was "fun" to walk two miles in the desert to the nearest 7-11 on a hot Saturday in July just because we wanted to, and how we would always end up with goatheads and other types of stickers in our legs and feet.
I remember when one person in our family would get the flu and start to throw up how my sister and I would refuse to eat anything for three days until we were sure that either the virus had passed, or we weren't going to get it, and I remember how on those rare times that we did throw up, we would convince ourselves that it was a good way to lose weight.
I remember long nights of standing out in the yard by the front gate watching cars drive by, and lying on the trampoline underneath a warm blanket counting the stars and thinking about how small I was in comparrison to everything else.
I remember my sister asking me how my day went and generally trying to get me to talk with her as we got ready for bed only for me to say one or two words in reply, but the second the light was off and we were in bed I wouldn't stop talking and she would fall asleep to my ramblings.
I remember pepsip wasps, solgeepudgees, water beetles, and pack rats...at least that's what we called them.
I remember how my brothers and I would dig out holes in the dirt in our backyard and pretend like we lived there (we had stairs and everything!).
I remember my mom waking us up in the middle of the night to show us it was snowing and how excited she was about it.
I remember watching Fraggle Rock on HBO.
I remember casseroles, jello, and having as many people over for the holidays as we could, and I remember how "the kitchen is closed" had real meaning in our house.
I know there are many more memories of my childhood that I am bound to recall as the years go by, but I had a good time reminiscing about these ones. I am grateful for the good memories I have of my family. It's funny, this is not how I anticipated this post going, but it made me laugh to think of all these experiences.
I remember when my parents would turn on the swamp cooler in our house and my brothers and I would close all the doors in the hallway and lie under the cold air with blankets while we talked about everything for hours.
I remember another time when my brothers and I, apparently for lack of something to do, would sit in their room and make ourselves laugh until it reached a point where we were all laughing so hard we were crying, but we had nothing specific to laugh about.
I remember when my sister and I thought it was "fun" to walk two miles in the desert to the nearest 7-11 on a hot Saturday in July just because we wanted to, and how we would always end up with goatheads and other types of stickers in our legs and feet.
I remember when one person in our family would get the flu and start to throw up how my sister and I would refuse to eat anything for three days until we were sure that either the virus had passed, or we weren't going to get it, and I remember how on those rare times that we did throw up, we would convince ourselves that it was a good way to lose weight.
I remember long nights of standing out in the yard by the front gate watching cars drive by, and lying on the trampoline underneath a warm blanket counting the stars and thinking about how small I was in comparrison to everything else.
I remember my sister asking me how my day went and generally trying to get me to talk with her as we got ready for bed only for me to say one or two words in reply, but the second the light was off and we were in bed I wouldn't stop talking and she would fall asleep to my ramblings.
I remember pepsip wasps, solgeepudgees, water beetles, and pack rats...at least that's what we called them.
I remember how my brothers and I would dig out holes in the dirt in our backyard and pretend like we lived there (we had stairs and everything!).
I remember my mom waking us up in the middle of the night to show us it was snowing and how excited she was about it.
I remember watching Fraggle Rock on HBO.
I remember casseroles, jello, and having as many people over for the holidays as we could, and I remember how "the kitchen is closed" had real meaning in our house.
I know there are many more memories of my childhood that I am bound to recall as the years go by, but I had a good time reminiscing about these ones. I am grateful for the good memories I have of my family. It's funny, this is not how I anticipated this post going, but it made me laugh to think of all these experiences.
Saturday, August 30
Lessons Learned
Recently I have learned some new things about others that I never knew before. Three of these things have hurt my feelings very much, though the people involved may not (nor may ever) know that. I don't know if the reason why I am just finding out about these things is due to my own blindness at the situation/event/person's interpretation, or if they feel like they are in a safe enough situation to say what they think and how they felt. I honestly don't know. Sometimes I am shocked to think how little I truly know about these people, and also how little I know about myself.
I am not going to explain what those recent three experiences were to cause such a shake up of my heart and mind, but I have decided there are a few things I have wanted to say (both good and bad) but never had the heart to do so...until now. I need to get these out of my mind to make room for other things I would like to dwell on more consistently. Yes, they are going to be cryptic as that is my intention. I don't think I will ever be able to say these things to the individual in person but at least they will be said and, it is my hope, will no longer effect me and I can move on to becoming better. So, here it goes:
1. I want to tell someone that he hurt me very badly and our relationship/friendship will never be the same again.
2. I want to tell someone that I am so incredibly jealous of her life and everything that she is. I don't know why, but I really am.
3. I want to tell someone that he will probably never know how much I truly cared for him.
4. I want to tell someone that she is just plain mean, and biased, and does not care who she offends.
5. I want to tell someone that she ROCKS and I can't believe how fantastic she is.
6. I want to tell someone that he is so great I want to hang out with him as much as I can.
7. I want to tell someone that I really look up to him, respect him, and wish I could try to be more like him...and secretly I think how he would handle something and try to do it the same way.
8. I want to tell someone that the pity factor has absolutely NO effect on me.
9. I want to tell someone that she doesn't know me and needs to stop telling everyone that she does.
10. I want to tell someone that she needs to back off or she'll incur the wrath o' me, and believe me it's not pretty.
11. I want to tell someone that things have changed so much between us that we aren't able to have the same friendship we once had. And I think that makes me the most sad.
12. I want to tell someone that I miss him incredibly and think of him often.
13. I want to tell someone that she needs to just stop talking.
14. I want to tell someone that I wish he would support me more.
15. I want to tell someone that I wish she would like me.
16. I want to tell someone that I may just be a lost cause but I am glad he has never given up on me.
17. I want to tell someone that I don't like doing some things and I wish he would understand that.
That's all for now.
I am not going to explain what those recent three experiences were to cause such a shake up of my heart and mind, but I have decided there are a few things I have wanted to say (both good and bad) but never had the heart to do so...until now. I need to get these out of my mind to make room for other things I would like to dwell on more consistently. Yes, they are going to be cryptic as that is my intention. I don't think I will ever be able to say these things to the individual in person but at least they will be said and, it is my hope, will no longer effect me and I can move on to becoming better. So, here it goes:
1. I want to tell someone that he hurt me very badly and our relationship/friendship will never be the same again.
2. I want to tell someone that I am so incredibly jealous of her life and everything that she is. I don't know why, but I really am.
3. I want to tell someone that he will probably never know how much I truly cared for him.
4. I want to tell someone that she is just plain mean, and biased, and does not care who she offends.
5. I want to tell someone that she ROCKS and I can't believe how fantastic she is.
6. I want to tell someone that he is so great I want to hang out with him as much as I can.
7. I want to tell someone that I really look up to him, respect him, and wish I could try to be more like him...and secretly I think how he would handle something and try to do it the same way.
8. I want to tell someone that the pity factor has absolutely NO effect on me.
9. I want to tell someone that she doesn't know me and needs to stop telling everyone that she does.
10. I want to tell someone that she needs to back off or she'll incur the wrath o' me, and believe me it's not pretty.
11. I want to tell someone that things have changed so much between us that we aren't able to have the same friendship we once had. And I think that makes me the most sad.
12. I want to tell someone that I miss him incredibly and think of him often.
13. I want to tell someone that she needs to just stop talking.
14. I want to tell someone that I wish he would support me more.
15. I want to tell someone that I wish she would like me.
16. I want to tell someone that I may just be a lost cause but I am glad he has never given up on me.
17. I want to tell someone that I don't like doing some things and I wish he would understand that.
That's all for now.
Wednesday, July 16
Good News!
Have no fear my fellow bloggers! I have just received a job offer and I begin work on Monday. I could not be more excited about this opportunity because it is doing something I like at a place I enjoy! Thanks for all those who provided support to me in my time of need. You have no idea how much it lifted me up and encouraged me. It is always nice to know there are those who are willing to be there when things get tough. THANK YOU! :) More to follow at a later date. :)
Friday, July 11
What is going on?
I just don't get it. I have not had success in finding a new job and this has caused much concern for me. I've never had this type of trouble before. I have been working in the corporate world for the last thirteen years and have never had a problem finding a position. I communicate well, I am a team player, I know how to work a computer and most software applications, I am a quick learner, super positive, fast typist, extremely organized, and I am all about the customer. So what is going on? All of the sudden I feel like I am back in grade school trying to figure out why no one wants to be my friend. I've begun to question my skills, my knowledge, and my experiences. I've begun to doubt my own abilities and that, in case none of you have ever been in a similar position, is so disheartening. So now I am in a position where I don't know what I want to do, where I am not sure what area I want to go into, or what I want to do with my life. How can that be? These last six weeks have been full of ups and downs and sometimes I don't even know which way I am facing.
I saw a preview for a new show coming on tv and the part I saw kind of made me mad. It was a lady who was totally freaking out because of her debts and the bills she had that were outstanding. She was talking to her mom about it and her mom said, "Try not to worry about the bills. Here's a biscuit for you." Every time I see it I get angry because how on earth is that lady supposed to NOT worry about the bills? She has people all over her trying to collect what is due and she is struggling to make ends meet (though I am a little skeptical because she has a freakin' show on tv, for the love of Pete! I'm tempted to question how bad off she really is) and here is her mom telling her to not worry about them. Well, I am here to tell everyone that you can't just ignore certain problems and situations in your life. True, you probably shouldn't focus on them every single day because that would stress you out to the breaking point. But you do have to formulate some sort of plan on how best to take care of whatever situation you may be in at that time. I know what you are thinking. You're thinking that if you focus on your problems all the time it will drive you crazy. And to that point I agree. However, how are you supposed to make things better by just eating a freakin' biscuit, or watching a movie, or listening to music? Where is the plan of action? And the backup plan after that if things still aren't working out? And what do you do when everything has fallen through and you honestly have no more ideas?
Now, for those of you who are tempted to comment and say something about how I should trust in God and He will provide, or how I should turn all my worries over to Him and not think about them anymore, I say I have already done that. And for those of you who are tempted to further comment that perhaps I just don't trust that He will provide a way, I say I do trust Him and I know He will provide a way. I have a few things to say. I have turned many of my worries over to Him with complete faith that He would hear me and help me so that I am stronger and able to handle those stresses I have, because I don't think He will take these sort of troubles "away" just because. Even the people of Alma who were in bondage and were not allowed to pray out loud had worries. They prayed silently instead and continued to ask the Lord for help. But the Lord did not take their burdens away. He made it so that they were stronger and that their burdens were "made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord" (Mosiah 24:15 from the Book of Mormon). I have been strengthened in some of those things I have turned over to Him. The other things may end up taking a little longer...I've never been much of a patient person. I do pray every day that something will open up and I will be able to get a decent job at a company I enjoy, doing work that I am excited about it. I just don't think that position is ready yet, hence the whole meaning behind this post.
My point is, even when you have turned everything over to God and done your best to get through yet another day of disappointments without crying I firmly believe there are just times when you have to vent and get it all out of your system so your eyes are clear and your head is not stuffed with negative thoughts. It's so you CAN keep trusting in Him, keep going forward, and not be depressed about how everything just...well, just sucks. For me, that day is today. Thanks for hearing me out on this.
I saw a preview for a new show coming on tv and the part I saw kind of made me mad. It was a lady who was totally freaking out because of her debts and the bills she had that were outstanding. She was talking to her mom about it and her mom said, "Try not to worry about the bills. Here's a biscuit for you." Every time I see it I get angry because how on earth is that lady supposed to NOT worry about the bills? She has people all over her trying to collect what is due and she is struggling to make ends meet (though I am a little skeptical because she has a freakin' show on tv, for the love of Pete! I'm tempted to question how bad off she really is) and here is her mom telling her to not worry about them. Well, I am here to tell everyone that you can't just ignore certain problems and situations in your life. True, you probably shouldn't focus on them every single day because that would stress you out to the breaking point. But you do have to formulate some sort of plan on how best to take care of whatever situation you may be in at that time. I know what you are thinking. You're thinking that if you focus on your problems all the time it will drive you crazy. And to that point I agree. However, how are you supposed to make things better by just eating a freakin' biscuit, or watching a movie, or listening to music? Where is the plan of action? And the backup plan after that if things still aren't working out? And what do you do when everything has fallen through and you honestly have no more ideas?
Now, for those of you who are tempted to comment and say something about how I should trust in God and He will provide, or how I should turn all my worries over to Him and not think about them anymore, I say I have already done that. And for those of you who are tempted to further comment that perhaps I just don't trust that He will provide a way, I say I do trust Him and I know He will provide a way. I have a few things to say. I have turned many of my worries over to Him with complete faith that He would hear me and help me so that I am stronger and able to handle those stresses I have, because I don't think He will take these sort of troubles "away" just because. Even the people of Alma who were in bondage and were not allowed to pray out loud had worries. They prayed silently instead and continued to ask the Lord for help. But the Lord did not take their burdens away. He made it so that they were stronger and that their burdens were "made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord" (Mosiah 24:15 from the Book of Mormon). I have been strengthened in some of those things I have turned over to Him. The other things may end up taking a little longer...I've never been much of a patient person. I do pray every day that something will open up and I will be able to get a decent job at a company I enjoy, doing work that I am excited about it. I just don't think that position is ready yet, hence the whole meaning behind this post.
My point is, even when you have turned everything over to God and done your best to get through yet another day of disappointments without crying I firmly believe there are just times when you have to vent and get it all out of your system so your eyes are clear and your head is not stuffed with negative thoughts. It's so you CAN keep trusting in Him, keep going forward, and not be depressed about how everything just...well, just sucks. For me, that day is today. Thanks for hearing me out on this.
Thursday, July 3
I have nothing new to say really
I think people who have kids have a lot more interesting things to write about, and even though they may not write everyday, when they do have time to update the blog it is always with some interesting story. I don't really have that. So I apologize if my blog is boring. I can update you on what has happened in the past month and give myself a chance to get this all out of my head so I don't "stew" over it every single day.
About a month ago I lost my job. I really don't want to go into details, but suffice it to say it was due to medical reasons. Since then I have spent literally every day looking for another job. This has proved to be very difficult indeed, and James and I are beginning to think that perhaps I am meant to be home at this time. I think I have applied to at least twenty different full-time jobs and even more part-time jobs. However, no one...and I mean no one, has called me back for any kind of interview or anything. I call to check the status of the jobs I applied for and they tell me I don't have three years experience in a library setting, or I don't have any experience in the print industry or whatever other reason they tell me. This, as any of you who may have been in this same situation, can prove to be very frustrating.
My day starts when I get up around 8:30. This is also the same time that James leaves in the morning, so even though he doesn't know it he is my alarm clock. :) After I have woken up a bit I go into the study and jump on the computer. I check my phone to see if anyone has called and left any messages, and then I check my email to see if anyone has replied. After that I begin to scour the web for new job listings. I check Careerbuilder, Indeed, the City of Longmont, the Longmont newpaper, Monster, tentilltwo.com (a part time job website), the local school district, Jobing, and a few other job sites I have found along the way. I apply to the jobs that I think I would be able to do, and even some that would stretch me a bit, complete with a resume and a different cover letter for each position. Then I follow up with the jobs I have applied to in the previous weeks and check my email again. Once that process has been done I usually log onto school and do some homework and then realize that it's about 3:30 and I haven't eaten all day so I go and grab a quick bite and straighten up a bit before James gets home. I try to make dinner for him, but sometimes since I eat late I don't feel hungry and don't even think about making dinner. He has to remind me and I am doing better about trying to eat at a normal time so we can eat together in the evening. Once James gets home I may try to do a bit more homework, but after being on the computer all day I usually go and watch TV or read a book. Actually, I end up helping James with his homework. He's getting his second Bachelor's degree in Graphic Design and I'm jealous because he gets to do fun homework like painting and taking pictures, whereas I have to write eight-page papers on the Ethics of an Organization, or Strategic Objectives.
I'm extremely grateful that James is working because that would be too difficult, I think. So I am counting my blessings. On the good side I have been able to stay out of the heat and the sun and so my arms and hands have not broken out. This is always a good thing since the prescription medicine I use to get rid of these breakouts thins my skin. So I try to limit the use of it as much as I can and that involves staying out of the sun. No problem for me. I hate the heat and the sun probably just as much as it hates me. Also, my migraines have decreased thanks in part to the quiet environment I am in now (my home). And when I do get one I don't have to stress about it because I am home and can take care of it here. My apartment is conducive to overcoming my migraines. It is cold, dark, and quiet. I can lie down and hopefully get rid of the pain and I don't have to worry about anything. There are blessings in this little trial of mine, and I do see them. It's funny...I told James the other day that half of me feels bad for not having a job and not getting any calls back, and the other half of me feels bad for not feeling bad about not having a job! Does that even make sense? Well, I have no doubts that Heavenly Father is mindful of James and I and I know He knows our situation. I know I am in His hands, and perhaps that's why I don't feel bad for not having a job. It's not like I am not trying to find something because I truly am. But I also like being home. I feel better here. Anyway, that is my update. I bet you wish I had kids so I could tell you some fun story or something. I'll see what kind of a story I can come up with next time. :)
About a month ago I lost my job. I really don't want to go into details, but suffice it to say it was due to medical reasons. Since then I have spent literally every day looking for another job. This has proved to be very difficult indeed, and James and I are beginning to think that perhaps I am meant to be home at this time. I think I have applied to at least twenty different full-time jobs and even more part-time jobs. However, no one...and I mean no one, has called me back for any kind of interview or anything. I call to check the status of the jobs I applied for and they tell me I don't have three years experience in a library setting, or I don't have any experience in the print industry or whatever other reason they tell me. This, as any of you who may have been in this same situation, can prove to be very frustrating.
My day starts when I get up around 8:30. This is also the same time that James leaves in the morning, so even though he doesn't know it he is my alarm clock. :) After I have woken up a bit I go into the study and jump on the computer. I check my phone to see if anyone has called and left any messages, and then I check my email to see if anyone has replied. After that I begin to scour the web for new job listings. I check Careerbuilder, Indeed, the City of Longmont, the Longmont newpaper, Monster, tentilltwo.com (a part time job website), the local school district, Jobing, and a few other job sites I have found along the way. I apply to the jobs that I think I would be able to do, and even some that would stretch me a bit, complete with a resume and a different cover letter for each position. Then I follow up with the jobs I have applied to in the previous weeks and check my email again. Once that process has been done I usually log onto school and do some homework and then realize that it's about 3:30 and I haven't eaten all day so I go and grab a quick bite and straighten up a bit before James gets home. I try to make dinner for him, but sometimes since I eat late I don't feel hungry and don't even think about making dinner. He has to remind me and I am doing better about trying to eat at a normal time so we can eat together in the evening. Once James gets home I may try to do a bit more homework, but after being on the computer all day I usually go and watch TV or read a book. Actually, I end up helping James with his homework. He's getting his second Bachelor's degree in Graphic Design and I'm jealous because he gets to do fun homework like painting and taking pictures, whereas I have to write eight-page papers on the Ethics of an Organization, or Strategic Objectives.
I'm extremely grateful that James is working because that would be too difficult, I think. So I am counting my blessings. On the good side I have been able to stay out of the heat and the sun and so my arms and hands have not broken out. This is always a good thing since the prescription medicine I use to get rid of these breakouts thins my skin. So I try to limit the use of it as much as I can and that involves staying out of the sun. No problem for me. I hate the heat and the sun probably just as much as it hates me. Also, my migraines have decreased thanks in part to the quiet environment I am in now (my home). And when I do get one I don't have to stress about it because I am home and can take care of it here. My apartment is conducive to overcoming my migraines. It is cold, dark, and quiet. I can lie down and hopefully get rid of the pain and I don't have to worry about anything. There are blessings in this little trial of mine, and I do see them. It's funny...I told James the other day that half of me feels bad for not having a job and not getting any calls back, and the other half of me feels bad for not feeling bad about not having a job! Does that even make sense? Well, I have no doubts that Heavenly Father is mindful of James and I and I know He knows our situation. I know I am in His hands, and perhaps that's why I don't feel bad for not having a job. It's not like I am not trying to find something because I truly am. But I also like being home. I feel better here. Anyway, that is my update. I bet you wish I had kids so I could tell you some fun story or something. I'll see what kind of a story I can come up with next time. :)
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